What is the opposite of success for you? There's a good chance that you spontaneously answered with failure, making mistakes or even failure. But that couldn't be more wrong. Quite the opposite, because failure is not only part of success, it is actually an essential component. Because only those who make mistakes continue to develop and learn. The philosophy of „failing beautifully“ is therefore essential if you want to grow personally and professionally. And in this blog article, we want to take a look at how you can best achieve this.
The fear of failure
Everywhere you look, there is more or less a standstill. People no longer dare to think innovatively, to make bold decisions, and the The future into their own hands. Instead, people prefer to play it safe and manage the unloved but familiar status quo. And the reason is as simple as it is tragic. If you were to ask the people involved, you would get a variation of the following answers: „I am not responsible for that„, „That can't be changed so easily“ or of course the infamous classic „We've always done it this way.“ And this indifferent attitude then leads to doing things by the book, not even thinking about the sense and nonsense of rules or reacting to a digital problem with a process that dates back to the good old analog days. In other words, you try to solve a problem of today with the methods and approaches of the day before yesterday.
But what is the reason for this fundamental refusal to embrace innovative ideas, new approaches and possible process improvements? In organizations, it is almost always a negative error culture in combination with a Leadership culture, based on pressure and fear. It usually looks like this. Someone makes a mistake, whereupon the search for someone to blame begins immediately. Once this person has been identified, the finger is pointed at them in a condemnatory manner, and they would love to sink into the ground with shame. The result? People gradually develop a deep-seated fear of making mistakes. No wonder when possible consequences such as warnings, public humiliation or even dismissal are constantly hanging over you like the sword of Damocles. As a result, decisions are no longer made at all, no one takes any risks and, in the best-case scenario, only work to rule is on the agenda. Much more frequently, however, not even that happens anymore, but only the standstill is managed. A logical consequence, because if you do nothing, you can't make any mistakes. A tragic development that sooner or later ends in a toxic corporate culture.
The negative spiral of a destructive error culture
But many people have also developed an almost panicky fear of failure on a personal level. Because failures in various areas of life are almost automatically accompanied by the conviction that you are a failure. And this leads to a fascinating dilemma. The more tensely you try not to make mistakes, the more often they occur, which in the long run really brings down your self-confidence. I would like to highlight one connection in particular at this point: The biggest obstacle to successful change is the pressure factor.
And by that I mean both the external pressures and expectations, but especially the inner fear of possible mistakes and the resulting stress that we expose ourselves to. The emotional burden of having to achieve a specific result in a very specific period of time, of not being allowed to fail under any circumstances and of having to constantly fight against the status quo of your job, your health, your finances, your relationships and your general satisfaction in life. As is so often the case, the solution is very simple, but by no means easy. The trick is to banish the pressure and fear of making mistakes from your life and replace it with a healthy dose of serenity.
Pressure and fear prevent success
Would you agree with me that you are always particularly successful when you approach tasks in a relaxed, calm and confident manner? And then cramp up when you want to avoid mistakes at all costs, can't withstand the pressure and need a desired result so urgently that you freeze like the proverbial rabbit in front of the snake when it comes to achieving it? Take my favorite sport, golf, for example. Regardless of whether you have ever held a club in your life or not, nine times out of ten you would probably hole a putt from half a meter away with ease.
But what would it be like if it was the last putt at the most important tournament in the world? If the result would decide eternal fame or the image of a failure? If you knew that you were just one stroke away from unimagined riches in your account? Under such conditions, the fifty centimetres suddenly seem infinitely long. Because your heart beats faster. Your hands start to sweat. And your inner dialog is constantly reminding you of everything that can go wrong. A perfectly easy task suddenly becomes the hardest task in the world under pressure.
Incidentally, this phenomenon occurs constantly and everywhere in everyday life. When flirting, in negotiations, in communication, in interpersonal relationships, in sport, in sales and, of course, in a wide variety of contexts at work. I remember exactly how I was invited to a job interview with an absolute dream company straight after graduating. I wanted nothing more in the world than this job, because I knew that it would open all the doors to a successful future for me.
However, this prospect didn't inspire me, but instead led to a lot of pressure weighing heavily on my shoulders. Driven by the fear of failure, I tried to be the perfect candidate for the company and did pretty much everything wrong that could be done wrong. I tensed up, answered with memorized phrases and came across more like a robot than a person with a multi-faceted personality. After just ten minutes, the two recruiters exchanged a meaningful glance before telling me: „Um, thank you very much, Mr. Grzeskowitz. We'll be in touch.“
Serenity as a success factor
Logically, the rejection was not long in coming, but fortunately I didn't give up and despite the bumpy start, I continued on my path as a retail manager. And the more successful I became, the more my network grew and the more I completed external audits with corresponding recommendations, the more job offers I received. From direct competitors, from management consultancies and even from well-known brands in sectors that were completely foreign to me. Although I was very flattered, I wasn't interested at all, as I had already made the decision to become a Keynote Speaker and Author to become self-employed.
Nevertheless, I attended the interviews. Because on the one hand, it can never hurt to test your own market value, and on the other hand, I was sure that the experience could be very helpful for my future job as a change expert. And guess what happened? That's right, my inner composure was transferred to my entire appearance and communication, so that I received a job offer in every single interview. And without having to negotiate a single euro on my very demanding salary expectations.
It's not without a certain humor, is it? The more tense you are about a task, the more desperately you need something and the more panicky you are about failure, the greater the likelihood that you will achieve exactly the opposite of what you actually wanted. If, on the other hand, you allow yourself to be guided by an inner serenity and accept that mistakes are part of life, then you will develop further all by yourself and often achieve the desired results much more quickly. The American athletics coach Joe Vigil described this perfectly in the following metaphor: „Two goddesses live in your heart. The goddess of wisdom and the goddess of wealth. Everyone thinks that you have to be rich first and wisdom will follow. And so they start chasing after money. But the order is wrong. You have to give your heart to the goddess of wisdom and give her all your love and attention. This will make the goddess of wealth jealous and automatically follow you.“
Failure as a prerequisite for success in life
A wonderful picture, isn't it? But the most important thing is between the lines. All you have to do is mentally replace the term wealth with Success whatever you understand by that. Achieving this requires both personal growth and a series of necessary changes. And these are much easier to implement if you don't tensely chase after a specific result and fight like a machine against the status quo, but instead focus calmly on enjoying life, growing with its various tasks and developing yourself further. Incidentally, this does not mean that all successes happen by chance. Nor does it mean that you should no longer set yourself goals or work in a disciplined manner to achieve them. On the contrary, all of this is of course important. Serenity is quite simply the antidote to the tendency to take it easy with the Changes to exaggerate, to build up too much pressure and thus to tense up during implementation.
The paradox of failure
I would like to use this blog article to make a passionate plea for failure. To encourage you to fail more beautifully. To fail more often. And then to learn from this failure, become better and grow as a person. By the way, far be it from me to want to glorify failure. Rather, I would like to remind you that they are as much a part of life as the air we breathe. And the more comfortably you can deal with setbacks, the more ease, a high level of self-confidence and a deep inner serenity will find their way into your life. This leads to a certain paradox:
The more naturally you deal with the topic of failure, the greater the likelihood that you will be successful.
And that is precisely why Shift It works best when it is not based on tension and pressure, but on lightness, balance and serenity. The following question is a perfect starting point:
What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?
You've probably heard this question before, haven't you? It has a firm place in all success books and is also often used by keynote speakers around the world when it comes to finding the courage to pursue your own goals and dreams. The idea behind it sounds logical at first glance: because most people don't even start for fear of failure, you simply mentally eliminate this possibility and thus help yourself to take the all-important first step. But be careful! I think this question is extremely dangerous. Why? Quite simply because, in my view, it is the result of a mentality that is becoming more and more widespread.
Beautiful failure with a powerful question
Whether it's politics, making difficult decisions in companies or implementing brilliant ideas in everyday personal life, more and more people are acting according to the motto: „I would give it a try if I was guaranteed that it would work in any case.“ Ever heard of it? Perhaps thought it yourself? However, this way of thinking is based on a big mistake. Unfortunately, life doesn't work like that. There is no guarantee for absolutely nothing. Quite the opposite. Every opportunity always involves risks, perfect plans can go awry, every success is always accompanied by corresponding failures and successful personalities in particular have often failed several times on the way to their achievements.
Although this is common knowledge, the expectation still lurks deep in the subconscious of the masses that they themselves are not affected by this duality and that they should achieve the small and large projects of everyday life at the first attempt. And before you know it, you've put yourself under immense pressure and don't even begin to implement them for fear of possible failure. The book is not written, the company is not founded and the dream is not lived. Because you're afraid that other people might make fun of you. That you're not good enough. And imagining in the brightest colors what could go wrong. The consequence? Many people have based their lives on the following rule: If there is no easy way, then I won't even start.
Failure as an essential part of life
What a tragic attitude. Before you can achieve your personal goals, the universe demands a lot of setbacks, mistakes and failures. Failure is as much a part of life as Asterix is to Obelix, as marzipan is to Lübeck and as the song Last Christmas at Christmas time. I even go one step further. The more often you fail on your journey, the more successful you will be. Yes, you read that right.
The number of mistakes you make is a direct reflection of your success in all areas of life.
Only those who act actively change. Only those who make courageous decisions will improve. And only those who dare to try out new ideas will eventually find the right one. Mistakes are bound to happen. Every single one of them is valuable feedback that you are in the all-important implementation phase. With every single experience, you will grow, develop and become more successful. History is full of examples of people who have consistently failed their way to success.
Fail forward
Publisher Arianna Huffington's book idea was rejected by 36 publishers before she started the Huffington Post changed the media landscape forever. Harland Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken, was told no by 1009 banks when he presented them with his business idea. And iconic director Steven Spielberg was turned down by three film schools before he was successful with films such as E.T., Indiana Jones or Jurassic Park made the big breakthrough. And because I could bet that there are also examples in your life where you only achieved a decisive breakthrough after making a big mistake, I would like to suggest an alternative formulation for the question above:
What would you do if you knew that you would definitely fail?“
Yes, you actually read that correctly. At first glance, this approach may seem completely crazy, because who wants to start something that they know will never work? But if you let the question sink in and think a little longer about possible answers, then a real breakthrough could be waiting for you. Sooner or later, you will come across the goals, plans and dreams that you are so passionate about that you would be prepared to tackle them even without a successful outcome. Simply because you enjoy the process itself and are really absorbed in the actual activity.
What would you do if you knew you were going to fail?
So hand on heart, what would be worth doing even if it wasn't successful? I thought of this question as I cheered my sister on at the Berlin Marathon in September, which over 50,000 people take part in every year. 99.9 % of these people know that there is no way they will win the race. Nevertheless, they take part and prepare for months for this one day. Because it's not about winning, it's just about being there. Soaking up the unique atmosphere. And, of course, the priceless feeling when you finally cross the finish line after 42 arduous kilometers.
For me, this is not only a wonderful metaphor for life itself, but also a perfect example of the application of serenity in everyday life. The point is this. The end result depends on so many different factors, none of which you can control. How you control the process, which things you do or don't do and how much passion you put into the task, however, is 100% within your sphere of influence. And the more you focus on this, the more likely you are to achieve a good result.
- Don't write the book because you absolutely want to end up on the bestseller list, but because you have something to say and you enjoy writing.
- Don't start the YouTube channel to accumulate hundreds of thousands of subscribers as quickly as possible, but because you enjoy making inspiring videos.
- Don't go out to find a partner, but because you like to party and enjoy the company of other people.
- Don't found the start-up to sell it for several million as quickly as possible, but because you can solve the problems of many people with your business idea.
This way, you can approach each task without any pressure, but with a lot of composure and can concentrate one hundred percent on what really matters. And who knows, maybe the book will end up being a bestseller, maybe your channel will go through the roof one day, maybe you'll meet your dream partner and maybe your start-up will actually become the next unicorn (this refers to a company market valuation of over 1 billion dollars). And if not? Then it's no big deal. Because you were never concerned with the result, but always with the path to the goal.
The opposite of success
I would therefore like to repeat the question once again: What would you do if you knew that you would definitely fail? It's best to make a list of all the answers you can think of. And then start implementing them. And do it today, not at some point. Do the things that don't let you sleep at night. Fulfill the dreams that have been lying in the drawer for so long. And tackle the projects that you've been putting off for fear of failure. Yes, failure can be hard. But the feeling is much worse when you look back at some point and regret not having tried at least once. Am I right?
The sooner you accept that failure and mistakes are part of life, the better. Franz Beckenbauer became famous for his motivational speech before the 1990 World Cup final, when he gave the national team led by Lothar Matthäus, Rudi Völler and Andreas Brehme a single message: „Go out and play soccer.“ I would like to adapt this sentence and shout to you: „Go out and succeed.“ Life is simply too short to waste it on excuses and fear of your own courage.
Oh yes, and that brings me back to the initial question, namely what exactly is the opposite of success. The answer should be obvious by now: it's mediocrity. But fortunately, by applying the philosophy of beautiful failure, you no longer have anything to do with mediocrity.
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