Setting (and achieving) goals with the SEKSI formula

Setting goals: Myth or important success factor?

There are countless books, lectures, seminars and especially methods on the subject of “setting goals”, the best known of which is certainly the SMART formula. However, when it comes to evaluating goals, there is again disagreement. While some say “If you don't have goals, you're aiming to be unhappy”, others consider setting goals to be important, but take a less dogmatic approach and claim that the journey is the actual goal. But where does the truth lie? In this article, we want to address precisely this question.

Goals as a beacon in life

„May I have a word with you?“ A friendly gentleman asked me this question on the sidelines of a book signing I recently held in southern Germany. „Gladly,“ I replied, „what can I do for you?“ What happened next is something I experience almost every day. Within three minutes, he told me in condensed form that things in his life were not going as he had imagined at the moment. He was particularly frustrated by his relationship with his wife, with whom he was in the process of divorcing, and he was getting more and more involved in his bad feelings.

At some point, he was just going round in circles, so I interrupted him: „I understand that your relationship with your wife is making you very unhappy at the moment. What exactly can I do for you?“ And then he told me the whole story again from the beginning, but with even more details. I interrupted him again and asked what exactly he expected from our conversation.

„Well,“ he said, „there must be some technique to stop me getting so frustrated.“ „There is,“ I replied, „what do you want to achieve with this technique?“ And the whole game started all over again. With every lap the friendly gentleman took, he focused more on his problem and hoped to get some advice from me.

Setting goals provides orientation and clarity

However, his real problem at that moment was somewhere else entirely. He didn't know what he wanted at all. He refused to set goals, hadn't even asked himself what should take the place of frustration and how he envisioned his future relationship with his wife. You may be familiar with this too. You know exactly what you no longer want. But you can't say for sure what you want to achieve instead.

But how do you want to change successfully if you don't know what the results of your plans should look like? In the course of this article, we will therefore address the important topic of „setting goals“. But don't worry, I won't torture you with the same old (and unfortunately ineffective) goal formulas, nor will we drift off into theory. My personal goal is simple: I want you to be able to live the life you dream of. So let's get started. Are you ready?

Setting goals starts with an analysis of the status quo

Then all I need from you now is a ruthlessly honest answer to the following question: „How happy are you at the moment in the following areas on a scale of 1 to 10?“, where 1 stands for „not at all“ and 10 for „not to be outdone“.

Profession
Family
Relationship/partnership
Personal development
Health
Finances
Spirituality
Entrepreneurial success or career

Incidentally, I am not interested in politically correct, socially acceptable or flowery answers. Instead, I want to know how you feel and how you really feel. And if you do give me a superficial answer, then I can live with that, because it's not about me, it's all about you. You can fool others. But you can't lie to the person who looks at you in the mirror every morning in the long term.

Of goals, dreams and visions

The more honest you are with yourself, the easier it will be to make a course correction. So would you like to answer again? Good. If you are unhappy with any area of your life, have reached a certain level of frustration or would like to achieve more, then it's time to make a change. But what goals do you have? What do you dream about? What vision drives you?

And that brings us to the crucial point when it comes to setting goals. Most people know exactly what they no longer want, but they are not sure what should take the place of the old things. After you have made an irrevocable decision for the Shift Once you have decided on the results, the next step is to determine exactly what the concrete results should look like.

I would therefore like to introduce you to my preferred goal-setting process, which I use regularly with my Coaching clients to find out together what they really want. And it always starts with this question: „What do you want to be, do or have in the future?“ The answers that follow can be divided into six different categories:

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The 6 levels of goals

(Wish) dream - For example: I would like to be rich. I would like to start my own business. I would like to be successful.
Vision: I will be the best car salesman in Berlin. Our brand is well-known and successful throughout Europe. My company has a turnover of 1 million and is the market leader in the XYZ sector.
Direction: I want to do something with media. We will intensify marketing. I will spend more time with my family.
Target: We take on ten new trainees by December 31. I sell 50,000 books in 2015. By the end of the year, I've lost eight kilos.
Plan: I call five customers a day. I train four times a week according to fitness plan XYZ. I write my new book every day from six to seven.
Make: Do. Realize: Get into action.

The higher we are in this list, the greater the level of abstraction and the emotional drive. The further down we move, the more concrete it becomes, while the emotions become less. Normally, the six individual stages are passed through sequentially. A dream becomes a vision, which at some point leads to a still rather vague direction. The more you work on this, the clearer the individual goals become, for which you then develop concrete plans that are ultimately implemented.

Many goals only develop along the way

Sometimes, however, a vision or a rough direction can be so emotionally charged that you get straight into action without any detours and only make your goals and plans afterwards. But what exactly the path looks like doesn't really matter, because in the end it's always about transforming your plans into results and turning wishes into concrete outcomes.

So let's start with exactly that. If you know where you want to go and set off in a timely manner, then this is the crucial next step for sustainable change. But unfortunately, many people fail at exactly this point because they don't have a suitable answer to the following question: „Where do I even want to go?“ Have you ever asked yourself this question, perhaps recently? If so, I would like to introduce you to a wonderful exercise that will help you to bring structure and clarity to your wishes, visions, directions, goals or plans.

An effective and impactful goals exercise

And this is how it works: Grab a piece of paper and pen (or a note-taking app of your choice) and take enough time for an extensive future brainstorming session. Ask yourself the following question: „What do I want to be, do or have in the future?“ And then get started. Write down everything you can think of. Without any judgment. Let your pen flow and your inner fire burn. What have you always wanted to do? What do you want to achieve? What goals do you have? Write for at least 15 minutes and make a note of everything, however small and unimportant it may seem to you.

Once you have completed this task, it is best to have a coffee or go for a walk. Then take the results of your brainstorming session back to hand and write either a „1“ or a „2“ next to each individual goal.

The „1“ stands for „This goal is very important to me, I will definitely make an effort to achieve it“. .
And the „2“ means „I am letting go of this goal“.

You have to let go of some goals

You may now be asking yourself: „Excuse me, I'm supposed to reach my goal? let go, then why did I write it down?“ But you will see how important this step can be for you. There are simply goals that we have been carrying around with us for years like a heavy rucksack and that we keep putting off achieving. Isn't that the case? Always remember: there is a reason why you haven't implemented these goals yet. Everything has its time. And now you need your strength and energy for your new and currently important plans.

So continue with the process. Next, write down your „1“ and „2“ goals on a separate sheet of paper so that you now have a list of current plans and a list of plans that are no longer current. Now it's time to say goodbye to your „old“ plans. Come up with a nice ritual and burn the piece of paper in your fireplace, in your garden or in a fireproof flower pot, for example. Trust me, this is neither embarrassing nor esoteric, but really liberating and energizing. And you can now use this energy to implement your current plans.

Achieving goals with three different time horizons

To do this, take your list of „1s“ and write either an „L“, an „M“ or a „K“ next to each project. The individual letters stand for the following categories:

L = Long-term goal with a time horizon of two to five years
M = Medium-term goal with a time horizon of twelve months
K = Short-term goal with a time horizon of four weeks

Your long-term plans serve as an attractive vision for the future. Tweak the individual formulations until you are flooded with a huge wave of strong feelings just thinking about it. The more emotional your associations with the goal, the greater the likelihood that you are prepared to do everything in your power to achieve it.

Life visions lead to powerful goals

For maximum impact, I recommend that you develop a powerful vision for each area of your life. Many of my clients have also had great success by hanging their vision on a poster in their office or carrying it in their wallet. Because the more often you (consciously or unconsciously) think about it, the more inevitably your ideas, decisions and actions will lead to implementation.

However, as we are talking about a period of two to five years, it is important that you set yourself milestones along the way. This is where the medium and short-term goals come into play. Go through all the projects in this category and imagine how it will feel when you reach each milestone. Again, the more emotional, the better.

Now take another blank sheet of paper and write down your three most important goals. If you still have any difficulties with this step, I recommend you read my article “Learning to make decisions”.

Now we come to the final step. We will revise your three most important goals until you can't help but be motivated to get started and implement them. And I can reassure you that I won't bully you with any goal formulas or torment you by fiddling with details until you no longer feel the slightest desire to take action. No, instead I would like to introduce you to my tried and tested SEKSI formula, which has served me faithfully for many years. Working with this formula is quick, reliable and, above all, it provides the necessary clarity.

Setting goals with the SEKSI formula

S.E.K.S.I. is an acronym in which each letter stands for an important quality that I believe powerful goals should possess.

S for SPECIFIC

Your goal should be as detailed and clear as possible. Vague wishes or „wishy-washy“ plans are out of place at this point in the process.

E for EMOTIONAL

Imagine that you have already reached your goal. What happens inside you? Does the thought leave you relatively cold? Then the goal is not emotional enough. If, on the other hand, you are flooded with a wave of intense feelings, then you will get going all by yourself. The question you should ask yourself with every goal: „Is my heart and soul in this project?“

K for KONKRET

Are there measurable intermediate steps, milestones and an end date?

S for SELF-RELIANT

This point is particularly important. Can you achieve your goal independently or do you need other people to help you? For example: „I would like to be promoted to head of department in the new year“ is a goal that would not meet this criterion because you would be dependent on the behavior of your manager. A suitable alternative, on the other hand, would be: „In the coming year, I will throw myself into my work with motivation and enjoyment and place particular emphasis on my results so that my line manager does not pass me by for the next promotion.“

I for INITIATIVE

Last but not least. Is the goal so motivating that you make a decision of your own accord and get started?

Goals must be SEKSI

If you have reviewed your three most important goals according to all the criteria of the S.E.K.S.I. formula, then the chances are more than good that you can hardly wait to finally get started. However, the bigger your plans are, the more life will test you to see if you really mean it.

And three important factors will help you overcome these inevitable obstacles: Your Mindset, positive thinking and powerful Values. I hope you enjoy trying out the SEKSI formula. And of course I am interested in your opinion on the subject of “setting goals”. Feel free to write me your opinion and experiences in the comments.

Yours sincerely, Ilja Grzeskowitz