Learning to let go - 7 ideas for successful life changes

Good things don't always come immediately, nor do they always come from the direction you would expect. Life sometimes takes convoluted and winding paths in these matters. But with a certain amount of trust in the power of a vacuum, a gap that has arisen will always be replaced by something better. „But, Ilya, what exactly am I supposed to let go of now?“ That's a good question. And I can't answer it for you. Often it's just one thing that you have to let go of in order to set off a small avalanche of positive developments. 

 

The nasty thing is, however, that you always have a bad feeling before making such decisions. No wonder, because most of the things you need to let go of most urgently have taken up an important place in your life. Your whole inner self is resisting such moments and shouts: „No way, this is important. We still need that.“ 

 

But the changes you are most afraid of are the ones that bring the biggest breakthroughs. And just as my gut feeling in my dressing room told me that the time for shirts had come, you also sense that a part of you is protesting loudly, but that you should act anyway. In such cases, it helps to train your intuition, which you can almost always rely on.

So let's get to the crucial question of this article: What is the one thing in your life that you should let go of? You have probably sensed what it is for a long time, but so far you have found many good arguments as to why letting go seems to be out of the question. Nevertheless, this quiet inner voice keeps coming back and surfaces at regular intervals.

 

Am I right? If you still have doubts (and you will, because it's perfectly normal), go deep inside yourself and ask yourself the following question: „What is the one thing in my life that I should let go of?“ Now pay attention to the answer that comes to mind first. No matter how unrealistic or unreasonable the idea may sound, it is very likely to be the very thing you should let go of at that moment.

 

Do you need a few more ideas on what you can let go of? A long time ago, I drew up a list for myself in which I summarized the things that are best suited to being critically reviewed and questioned on a regular basis. Because if you want to learn to let go, then the big goal is nothing other than to think critically, remain mentally flexible and do everything you can to escape the comfort of mental no-man's land. Although I should be practiced in these things by now, I still often find myself taking the easy way out with all the lectures, appointments and everyday tasks and preferring to create my own Comfort zone expand. 

That's why I have fixed dates in my calendar when I critically question the supposed facts of life, review my strategies and adjust my goals. I do this once a month and even for a whole weekend at the turn of the year. Letting go is never easy, by the way, but the more often you experience the fascinating effects, the more confidence you will have in your decisions. Shall we get started? Here are my personal suggestions for letting go.

For successful Change management it is much more important to take action than to wait for perfection. Mistakes happen anyway, plans go awry and there are lots of big obstacles along the way waiting for you to clear them out of the way. I have also learned one thing in my job as Keynote Speaker I have learned that perfection always seems a little suspicious. Admitting small mistakes and being open about weaknesses, on the other hand, can open many doors. After all, people like people best, not robots. Let go of the idea of wanting to be perfect.

This is where it is hardest to let go, because there is nothing in the world we like to defend as much as our own opinions, beliefs and convictions. For this reason, people only change when they want to and not when they have to. So regularly question your convictions critically and with an open mind. A good start is always the following: „Is this belief really my own or have I adopted it from my environment, other people or the media? 

 

And if it is my own, does it bring me closer to my goals or does it slow me down?“ Let go of limiting beliefs and convictions adopted from others.

I can't repeat it often enough: Life is not a pony farm and certainly not fair. Neither are people. And you can't please everyone. Let go of your expectations that everything will be fair or that opportunities and possibilities will be handed to you on a silver platter. Let go of other people's expectations and do your own thing. And to do this, you should significantly raise your own standards.

Your Inner Circle determines success or failure. This applies to all areas of life. For your career, your health and your finances. It simply makes a difference whether you spend your time with positive and innovative people or whether you sit at the regulars' table with beer-swilling energy vampires whose lives are determined by envy, resentment and frustration. 

 

I know from my own experience how difficult it is for us to let go of people who once played an important role in our lives. But here, too, there is a time for everything. And if you are developing as a person but the people around you are standing still, you should move on at your own pace. The more successful you become, the more often you will have a painful experience: Many friends and acquaintances do not want you to become successful at all. 

 

And if you do give them the benefit of the doubt, then please don't be any more successful than you are. This is not even meant in a bad way, but just the outwardly visible behavior that results from thinking in terms of lack. How can you avoid such experiences? Surround yourself exclusively with possible thinkers who support and encourage you on your path. And this also includes critical feedback. But please all Get rid of negative people in your environment and trust that exciting personalities will fill the gaps.

Do you also have that particular customer who hardly brings in any sales but constantly wants special treatment? For whom nothing works straight away, who still has a demand, and for whom you have to put in a lot of extra effort every time? Dare to say no and let go. Instead, focus your strength and energy on the customers who never nag, complain or grumble, but who appreciate your services, generate sales and are happy to have you as a partner at their side. 

 

And believe me, for one difficult customer there are already five others just waiting to do business with you. And these are the kind of customers who would benefit from an exchange of Values are characterized.

Don't worry, this won't be the hundredth call for a life without possessions or a moral sermon about how reprehensible it is if you like to consume. Rather, I want to raise your awareness of how much of the stuff you have accumulated is either no longer of value to you or is not being used. There is an interesting article in the Journal of Consumer Psychology from 2011, which bears the apt title: „If money doesn't buy you happiness, then you probably aren't spending it right.“ 

 

If you enjoy beautiful things, expensive watches, fast cars or luxurious clothes, then buy them and enjoy them. If you are happy and content by nature, then these consumer goods will make your life even more beautiful. Only if you need consumption in order to be happy should you urgently rethink your basic philosophy. But how many things are there in your cupboards, basements or garages that have simply been there for years and that you haven't used for a long time? 

 

Sort out mercilessly here. What you didn't use last year, you won't use next year either. Stuff that is only there because it was once expensive or is linked to a memory only takes up space and energy for the things that are really important to you. Nobody is saying that you should throw everything in the bin. Sell things on eBay, give things away to friends or donate them to charity. But the most important thing is that you let go and create space and freedom for new things. Give it a try, I guarantee you will be thrilled with the effect.

Have you been carrying this one dream around with you for years? Are you also pursuing a specific goal that you simply haven't had the time to achieve? Then you should think about whether you should let it go. Some Goals and dreams are like the old shirts cluttering up your closet. They cost you strength, energy and time. Above all, however, they block the space you need for your important dreams and your current goals. When in doubt, always remember: everything in life has its time. And there is a reason why you haven't done these things yet. Dare to let go and pursue the projects that are important to you today.

Good, have you been able to get some ideas? I am aware that we have taken a very brief look at the art of letting go. It's not for nothing that there are entire books devoted to just this one topic. But as is so often the case, the things that work best are usually those that are formulated to the point, and I hope you have gotten a sense of the power that learning to let go can have. The bottom line is that it really only comes down to one action: let go of what's holding you down. That's all it is. 

 

So that you don't find this so difficult in future, I'll give you the crucial tip at the very end. I have discovered why so many people are world champions at holding on, but find it so incredibly difficult to let go. As with all other changes, in this case it is also down to evaluation. So here comes an impulse that can decisively change your approach to the art of letting go. You should either write this sentence down or internalize it so well that you never forget it again:

 

 

This realization has given my life a completely new quality. It can do the same for yours. When you let go of something, it never means that you are throwing something away. Quite the opposite. Letting go only means that you are no longer holding on to something. 

When a falcon is kept in a cage, all it can think about is how it can escape. But if the falconer lets go and gives the animal its freedom, the bird always returns to the place where it feels most comfortable. And this leads to an important insight: if you have to hold on to something with all your might, then this action is primarily driven by the fear of loss. The thing you are clinging to so tightly actually left you a long time ago. 

 

If instead you dare to let go of old ideas, beliefs or even people, you will make an astonishing realization. Some of these things will disappear forever. And that's a good thing, because everything has its time. But there will also be some things that come back to you of their own accord. That one idea that just won't let go. That conviction that keeps coming back to you. And that very special person who wants to make a new start with you. 

 

That's the great thing about learning to let go. As soon as you stop holding on tightly and allow things the freedom to come back to you on their own, you will feel what really matters and is important for your life. Dare to let go and create space for ideas, thoughts and people who support you in achieving your greatness and living your dreams.