Category: Mind & Psychologie

Thinking is the new sexy - Becoming a critical thinker

Posted on by Mariana-A

Thinking is the new sexy. That sounds strange at first, but it's true. Because thinking is a skill that has been increasingly unlearned over the years, but is becoming essential for the future. So let's go down the rabbit hole called thinking. Do you feel like it? Then let's go.

Who thinks your thoughts?

Who actually thinks your thoughts? If your first impulse now is to answer „Well, me, who else, Ilya?“, then I hope this article has helped you a little with your thoughts. Comfort zone to be able to shake things up. Instead, we want to talk about the supposedly mundane topic of thinking. Especially in my job as a Keynote Speaker I regularly come across this at events and conferences when I listen to presentations by other speakers or colleagues. They fervently demand that we need more forward thinkers, out-of-the-box thinkers, positive thinkers, outside-the-box thinkers, creative thinkers or future thinkers. And my first impulse is always the same: it would be enough for me if people would think at all. Because what is often colloquially referred to as thinking is actually something completely different.

The many myths of communication

What do I mean by that? Perhaps you have heard a lecture, read a book or listened to a podcast on the subject of personal development. It is highly likely that sooner or later you will have come across the example that there was once a study by Mr. Mehrabian who found that the effect of communication depends 7 % on the content, 38 % on the tonality of the voice and 55 % on body language.

And what is the conclusion? Quite simply: the content doesn't really matter, gestures, facial expressions and the voice are much more important. You have probably also heard the statement that humans have two brain hemispheres, the left half of which is responsible for rational, logical and analytical tasks, while the right half takes care of creative, emotional and intuitive things. Or do you know the example of the bumblebee that, according to the laws of aerodynamics, couldn't actually fly, but because it doesn't know that, it just does it anyway? Or how about the famous Yale study from 1957 (often referred to as the Harvard study), according to which 3 % of the students who formulated their goals in writing later accumulated more wealth than the other 97 % combined?

These are just a few of many other examples that all have one thing in common. They are simply not true. They are myths. The interpretation of the Mehrabian study was refuted by its namesake himself, that we have two different brain hemispheres is not correct, the bumblebee thing comes from the world of myths and the Yale study never really existed.

And now we come to the topic of thinking, because there are simply so many keynote speakers, authors or podcasters who seem to have little claim to their own content, preferring instead to copy and parrot stories, examples or supposed studies. They have heard this somewhere, know that they can make a popular point with it and then claim it without any research, but with a lot of fervor and conviction (the Dunning-Kruger effect sends its regards). And that means that they no longer think for themselves, but instead uncritically and unfiltered adopt any content that is available and disseminate it one-to-one without subjecting it to even minimal scrutiny.

Laziness of thought is spreading

„That's all well and good, Ilja, but I'm neither a speaker nor an author, I have a completely different profession, why is that relevant to me now?“ I'm glad you asked, because you can really find the pattern behind these examples everywhere. I'm talking about lazy thinking and the ever-increasing tendency to adopt ready-made content, opinions and narratives and to accept them directly as my own without any critical scrutiny.

Take a look at the feed of your favorite social media platform and you will be amazed at how many articles, pictures, slogans, competitions or messages are shared indiscriminately without any critical filter. My favorite examples are those infamous fake competitions in which Apple is supposedly giving away 500 iPads, you can win a Mercedes GLK or a Sony Playstation. But of course only if you have shared the post with your entire network in good old chain letter style.

And although these types of competitions are known to be nothing more than a huge scam to steal users' data, the supposedly enlightened and so critically thinking masses fall for this type of rip-off time and again, and the posts are often liked and commented on hundreds of thousands of times.

Who actually thinks your thoughts?

But why is that? The reason is as simple as it is alarming. Because many people have become lazy thinkers and no longer bother to think for themselves, preferring instead to leave this process to others. And if you now object that you think all day long, then I would like to ask you the question from the beginning of the article once again:

Who thinks your thoughts?

Are you simply adopting the ideas, opinions and viewpoints of others out of convenience or are your thoughts really the result of an individual, critical and comprehensive process of internal analysis? After all, this is what thinking is all about, namely taking in information and then critically reviewing it by developing it further, rejecting it or combining it with other ideas. A good starting point is always the following question: How do I know that?

Critical thinking: the process of getting to the source of the thought

In order to be able to give an answer, you have to start an internal process that leads you to the core of the information. To explain this, let's take the example of the two hemispheres of the brain, which are responsible for either logic or emotions. This idea sounds so convincing that we are quickly tempted to adopt it unfiltered.

The question „How do I know that?“ now interrupts this impulse and leads you to the source instead. Suddenly you realize that the thought did not originally come from you, but that you read it somewhere. The next question could then be: Who did this statement come from and where was it published? How does this person know this and what verifiable sources did they cite?

By asking questions in this way, you leave the surface and instead work your way down step by step. Until you eventually arrive at a study, an article or other verifiable facts. And that's not always so easy.

Just take the example of the many famous quotes from Steve Jobs, Anthony Hopkins or Albert Einstein that are circulating on the internet. Out of sheer laziness of thought and agreement with the individual statements, it is overlooked that the quotes shared do not come from these people at all. And even if you take the trouble to do some research, you start a quick Google search, which then immediately links to a blog article that also attributes the quote in question to Einstein or Jobs.

The problem is that the blogger didn't think for himself either, but picked up the quote somewhere and then spread it unfiltered. And because the article is at the top of Google, the false information is now spreading like wildfire.

Critical thinking: From the surface to the source

What applies to the written word can also be observed time and again in speeches. I now become extremely wary when I hear one of the favorite phrases of many speakers: „Studies have proven/found/proven that...“. You know that too, don't you? My alarm bells immediately start ringing and I ask myself which study it might be, whether this person's statement is really based on a verifiable source or whether he simply claimed it that way. This critical questioning, this critical scrutiny and the process of questioning yourself from a statement on the surface down to the deeper levels, that's what thinking is all about.

And of course I admit that this is not always easy in a time of ever-increasing information overload. The oversupply of the most diverse messages, ideas, opinions, viewpoints and narratives has made it extremely challenging to maintain an overview. And that is precisely why it is more important than ever before:

Thinking is the new sexy!

Because really thinking in the truest sense of the word has become an exception. Because thinking your own thoughts, comparing them with the most important values, combining them with other information and generating completely new ideas from them has become an absolute exception.

Thinking is the new sexy

This is all the more true because political correctness is becoming more and more prevalent, some things are only said because they are currently en vogue and others are no longer formulated because they run counter to the current zeitgeist. If you want to develop independent thinking as a sexy feature of your personality under these conditions, the following questions are a good starting point:

  • Is the idea I'm thinking, the strategy I'm developing or the message I want to send really something that comes from me
  • Is it based on my most important Values and does it go hand in hand with my experience?
  • Is it really what I think, feel and am convinced of, or have I adopted it unfiltered and unchecked from others because it is currently in vogue or corresponds to the majority opinion?
  • Am I just thinking my thoughts because that's what people think and because I want to conform to the majority in my bubble?

 

Psychologist Solomon Asch discovered that this is not so rare back in 1951 in his famous conformity experiment, in which he showed how peer pressure can influence an individual person to evaluate an obviously false statement as correct. And just so we're clear, I am in no way trying to encourage you to become one of those no-matter-what-it-is-I'm-basically-against-everything whingers. Critical thinking only becomes sexy when you critically question yourself and your individual thought processes and go into every discussion with the willingness to be wrong.

The mindset of critical thinking

But the more you use this Mindset as a basis, the sooner you will develop a kind of inner bullshit filter and realize how much false information is used, how often certain things are simply parroted and how many myths, false facts and fake claims are simply spread indiscriminately and develop in an almost curious way in a kind of domino rally to become the generally accepted truth, although they are not actually the truth at all.

However, there is another factor that is much more important. The more often you base your own decisions, strategies, career, business and life planning on your own ideas, opinions and independent thinking, the more authentic and fulfilling the whole thing will be.

And at the same time, the quality of your own content, your services and communication in general will also increase. Because the more you think for yourself, the more you come into contact with your individual uniqueness. The more you literally become the thinker of your own thoughts, the more valuable your ideas become, your personality becomes sexy and you stand out from the gray mass of conformity.

If in doubt, always ask yourself „How do I know that?“ and then go deeper, ideally to the source. Where do the alleged facts come from? Is it just an opinion or can it be backed up by studies, scientific research or other verifiable figures, data and information? The last point is so essential, because many people often only argue on the basis of opinions, feelings or anecdotal evidence that was once an exception under certain circumstances, but is not generally valid.

Become the thinker of your own thoughts

It would therefore fill my heart with great joy if you would take this article as an opportunity to put your own thought processes and strategies to the test. Of course, this also means critically questioning what I have just tried to convey to you. To ask yourself whether it's all really true and whether you want to adopt it, or whether it might even be complete nonsense.

If you find that out for yourself, then that's perfectly fine. It was much more important to me to challenge you a little, to tickle you and to encourage you not to leave the all-important thinking to other people. And if you want to go down this path, now would be a good time to throw lazy thinking overboard and become a thinker of your own thoughts once and for all. Isn't that right?

What are beliefs? The ultimate guide

Posted on by Mariana-A

What are beliefs? This is a question I am asked again and again. No wonder, because beliefs (you can also say convictions or beliefs instead) determine our thought patterns, our Decision-making strategies and in particular our specific behavior every single second of our lives. And unconsciously on autopilot mode. This naturally has a huge impact on our Achievements at work and the general quality of life.

You wouldn't believe how many people there are who really Success who want nothing more than to have a career, or who would like nothing more than to be wealthy. But no matter what they tackle, try or attempt, whenever they take one step forward, they immediately take two steps back. The result is a self-reinforcing spiral of Self-sabotage, failures and setbacks. But why is that, when these people want so much to be, do or have something?

Here comes the answer, which originates in the subconscious: It simply doesn't matter what someone wishes for, sets out to do or what plans they announce. The only thing that counts is what you do. It depends on your behavior. And that is a direct reflection of your most important beliefs. They think and do what they are deeply and firmly convinced of.

But enough of the preamble. Let's get straight into it. I hope you enjoy reading this ultimate guide to beliefs. And if you are still missing any specific information or have any questions, I look forward to your comments.

Definition of beliefs: What they are and how they work

Even though I have already mentioned what beliefs are and how they work in the first paragraph, I would still like to add an official definition to these thoughts at this point:

“Beliefs are views deeply rooted in our subconscious that we develop in the course of our lives and of which we are deeply and firmly convinced. These beliefs serve as the basis for our thoughts, actions and decisions. Beliefs come from various sources, such as our experiences, upbringing, culture, media or the social environment in which we grew up. They form the filters through which we view the world, influence our perception and interpretation of situations and thus the results of our behavior.”

The difference between beliefs and belief systems

Beliefs are the things in life that you deeply and firmly believe to be true. They lie deep in your subconscious and influence your actions and therefore your results in life. This influence is naturally stronger the more firmly and longer a belief is anchored in you.

Imagine for a moment a table that only has three legs. That would be a pretty wobbly affair, wouldn't it? Would you put your best china on it? Probably not, right? But if this table were to stand on lots of legs, especially thick ones, then you could place just about any object on it, simply because you know about the stability and strength of the piece of furniture. Every set of beliefs is like such a table. At first it is a little wobbly, but soon the first table legs are added and begin to make the table more stable and powerful. In real life, these are (emotional) reference experiences that confirm and thus reinforce your beliefs.

Let me give you an example. If you believe that it is healthy to live as a vegetarian, then you will encounter „evidence“ of this conviction everywhere in your life. On television, on the internet, in conversations with friends and colleagues. And each of these „proofs“ will then reinforce your belief, whereupon you will find even more proof that your belief is correct. It is a self-reinforcing spiral. The philosopher Robert Anton Wilson summarized this in his book „The new Prometheus - The evolution of our intelligence“ in one apt sentence: „What the thinker thinks, the evidencer will prove.“

The thinker and the evidencer

Wilson uses an ingenious metaphor to make his point. Imagine that your brain consists of two parts. One that is responsible for thinking and another part whose sole task is to prove the thinker's thoughts. So if you were suddenly convinced that being a vegetarian was absolutely dangerous to your health, you would also find plenty of references and evidence for this thesis.

The following anecdote illustrates the metaphor of the thinker and the evidencer: one day a man came to a psychiatrist because he urgently needed help. He firmly believed that he was a corpse (yes, there is nothing that does not exist). The doctor thought for a moment and then tried to outwit his new patient with logic. He asked him a question:

„Tell me, a corpse is already dead, isn't it?“

„Yes, of course,“ came the immediate reply.

The psychiatrist went on to ask: „And if you cut into the skin of a corpse, that means no blood can come out, right?“

„Yes, exactly, there's no way a corpse can bleed“.

„Then I have an idea,« said the doctor, „would you allow me to make a very light incision in your arm with a sharp knife to see exactly what will happen?“

The patient immediately agreed: „Sure thing, doc. No problem at all“.

So the psychiatrist took his scalpel and carefully scratched the man's left arm, which immediately began to bleed. Safe in the knowledge that he had convinced his patient with this evidence that he could not possibly be a corpse, he asked the final question: „So, what exactly does this result tell us?“

The patient looked slightly confused as he replied: „That's really weird. Corpses do bleed!“

Beliefs reinforce themselves into belief systems

This is the power of beliefs. And if you have a whole series of similar beliefs in one area of your life, they become a whole cluster of beliefs, i.e. a belief system, which then has an even stronger effect than a single belief. However, there are two types of beliefs: on the one hand, there are solution-oriented and activating beliefs. These bring you closer to your goals and dreams and make you believe in your success.

Unfortunately, there are just as many limiting and restrictive beliefs that hold you back from your goals and make you believe that you are not good enough or do not deserve success. And for most people, these negative beliefs prevail - with the corresponding results, of course. But what do you think if we look at a few specific examples?

Examples of limiting beliefs

Negative beliefs appear in many different areas of life and influence our thoughts and actions. Here are some classic examples of limiting beliefs that prevent us from achieving the success we want.

  1. “I'm not good enough.”

  2. “I don't deserve happiness.”

  3. “I am not worthy of being loved.”

  4. “Money is hard to earn.”

  5. “I can never change.”

  6. „Change must be difficult.“

  7. „Money corrupts character.“

  8. „Rich people are evil.“

  9. „If I don't do it myself, it won't work.“

  10. „You don't talk about money.“

Examples of beneficial beliefs

Unlike their limiting siblings, positive beliefs can help us realize our full potential and lead a fulfilling life. Here are some examples of positive beliefs:

  1. “I have the ability to achieve anything I set my mind to.”

  2. “I am worthy of love and success.”

  3. “I am unique and valuable.”

  4. “I am financially successful and have enough for my needs.”

  5. “I have the power to change and grow myself.”

  6. „I attract money like a magnet“.

  7. „Commitment, hard work and perseverance always pay off in the end.“

  8. „If I give a lot and gladly, I get back twice and three times as much in the long run.“

  9. „If I regularly make courageous decisions, life will give me rich gifts.“

  10. „A positive Mindset will open all the doors in my life.“

I have consciously chosen these beneficial beliefs and made them the basis of my daily work. And they now unconsciously help me to achieve my goals and live my dreams.

Beliefs an overview

In addition to the two top 10 lists, how about an overview chart? Here you will find a summary of beliefs that have helped me in my work as a Change Coach and Keynote Speaker encounter again and again.

Negative beliefs examples

The list is of course not exhaustive, and if I had not been limited by space, I could have added many more examples.

Types of beliefs

Regardless of whether they are positive or limiting, beliefs can be roughly divided into four different categories, all of which have one thing in common: They are emotionally charged.

  1. Self-esteem and self-imageThese beliefs concern our convictions about who we are and what we are worth. Positive self-esteem beliefs strengthen our self-confidence and self-esteem, while negative self-esteem beliefs can make us feel inferior or unworthy.

  2. Success and performanceThese beliefs relate to what we think about our abilities and potential. Positive success beliefs encourage us to work hard and overcome challenges, while negative beliefs can convince us that we are not good enough or that success is unattainable for us.

  3. Interpersonal relationshipsThese beliefs concern our convictions about other people and the nature of interpersonal relationships. Positive interpersonal beliefs promote trust, compassion and harmony, while negative beliefs can lead to mistrust, conflict and isolation.

  4. Money and prosperityThese beliefs influence our attitude towards money and financial success. Positive money beliefs support the belief in abundance and financial freedom, while negative beliefs can lead to scarcity, fear of money or financial dependence.

Properties of beliefs

Let us now go one step further and look together at seven fundamental characteristics that all beliefs have in common.

  1. Beliefs always come from outside: No baby is born a racist, cynic or optimist. People only develop all beliefs in the course of childhood and adolescence, especially from important caregivers such as parents, relatives, teachers or people with whom they have an emotional relationship.
  2. Beliefs work unconsciously: Our beliefs are deeply anchored in our subconscious and serve us faithfully on autopilot mode. Regardless of what we consciously decide to do.
  3. Beliefs determine our behavior: Beliefs act as a perception filter and therefore determine both our thinking and, above all, our decisions. You behave differently depending on how you see the world.
  4. Beliefs become stronger over time: The more convinced you are of something, the more evidence you will find of it in everyday life. And the more evidence you find that your conviction is correct, the more it will become entrenched.
  5. Beliefs can be beneficial: Positive beliefs have an activating effect, direct your focus towards opportunities in life and ensure that you are able to develop your full potential.
  6. Beliefs can be limiting: Negative beliefs have a limiting effect, focus on problems in life and (unconsciously) ensure that you sabotage yourself and do not achieve the success that you (consciously) want so much.
  7. Beliefs can be changed: This is perhaps the most important quality of all. Because even if beliefs always work unconsciously, they can still be changed. 

How do beliefs arise?

Now that we know what exactly beliefs are and what properties they have, let's look at how they come about in the first place. It should come as no surprise by now that this does not happen by chance. Instead, beliefs are the direct result of a wide variety of influences from your environment. They develop from the influences you are constantly exposed to. The information you consume, the people you surround yourself with, the places you move around in and the way you talk to yourself.

  • ExperienceEarly experiences, especially in childhood, significantly shape our belief systems. Positive experiences can lead to positive beliefs, while negative experiences can lead to limiting beliefs.

  • Education and environmentThe people around us, such as parents, teachers, friends and colleagues, as well as social norms and values, strongly influence our beliefs. What we learn from others about ourselves and the world shapes our beliefs and assumptions.

  • SoliloquiesOur inner dialogs and thought patterns play an important role in the formulation of our beliefs. By saying certain things to ourselves over and over again, we reinforce certain beliefs and consolidate them in our subconscious.

To put it simply, you can imagine it like this: You take on a belief in the form of an opinion, an idea or a prejudice and adopt it uncritically. And off you go. Suddenly you find the aforementioned „evidence“ everywhere in your everyday life that confirms your new conviction. And the more „evidence“ you find, the deeper the belief becomes embedded in your subconscious.

Our core beliefs are formed primarily in childhood and adolescence, but even in adulthood this process follows exactly the same pattern. And before you know it, you believe deeply and firmly that success is hard, money corrupts your character and other people are just waiting to rip you off. The firmer your conviction, the more you will notice these things in everyday life. And as a result, the conviction becomes stronger again. A classic spiral that can either bring you closer to your goals or ensure that you permanently sabotage yourself. Because beliefs multiply and strengthen over time.

Mind viruses - how beliefs multiply

This is where the name Richard Brodie comes into play. What, you've never heard of him? First of all, you should be more or less grateful to him. In his former life, Brodie was a software programmer at Microsoft and, in this capacity, the developer of the Word writing program. At some point, however, he decided to follow his calling and became a speaker and author (funny, that sounds kind of familiar). In his new role, he devoted himself to studying how external programming influences internal beliefs.

As a result of his research, he wrote a book that I can warmly recommend to you. It bears the exciting title „Virus of the Mind - The New Science of the Meme„. Based on research into the „selfish gene“ by Richard Dawkins, Brodie describes how ideas implant themselves in the brain and spread there in the same way as a flu virus does, for example.

Two factors determine how strongly the information he calls „mind viruses“ become established in the brain. The first is regular repetition. Of course, the more often you have an idea in your head, the more familiar and real it becomes at some point. Then there is the emotional intensity. If an idea is presented in connection with love, sex, fear, children or food, the effect of the suggestion is multiplied many times over.

Ideas multiply like viruses in the brain

To check this out, all you have to do is go to the nearest newsstand and buy the latest issue of Bild. It is full of examples of both of the above phenomena. The combination of intensity and repetition then ensures that a thought virus spreads just as quickly as a typical flu epidemic does. The worst thing about it is that most ideas and opinions are now adopted and passed on without a single spark of personal thought. Newspapers copy each other. Friends tell each other about the latest discovery that came on TV, and modern chain letters are shared and spread indiscriminately on WhatsApp. And once an opinion or prejudice is in our heads, it doesn't want to get out any time soon.

It has therefore never been more important to critical thinker to become. Otherwise you are helplessly at the mercy of the external programming of advertising experts, television producers and radio presenters. You are not always programmed directly. Often it is simply stereotypical but highly emotional images. Imagine you open the newspaper and see a harmless-looking cartoon in which a poor woman is being ripped off by a fat, greedy captain of industry. What message is unconsciously conveyed there? Right, the rich are fat, greedy and exploit poor (and of course honest) people at every opportunity.

The more often you accept such messages uncritically, the stronger their effect and the more they develop into core beliefs on which your view of the world and, above all, of yourself is based. These beliefs sit deep in your subconscious and spread there like the famous thought virus from the movie Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio, in which it is possible to infiltrate other people's dreams and place ideas there. What was once an external idea has become your internal reality.

The sum of your core beliefs then inevitably leads to your unconscious autopilot not being geared towards success and abundance, but towards lack and mediocrity. And then you can be convinced on a conscious level that you want to be successful. If your autopilot is programmed for the exact opposite, you will not achieve your goal. Einstein already knew that when the logical mind and the subconscious are in conflict, the subconscious mind always prevails. And please don't use this statement to do the same as the masses and completely abandon the mind. The ability to think critically, to make conscious decisions and to use the gigantic capacity of the brain is the greatest gift that nature has endowed you with.

Effects of beliefs

Beliefs have an enormous impact on our lives. They can motivate and inspire us or hold us back and restrict us. Some of the effects of beliefs are:

  • Behavior and actionsOur beliefs influence how we act and react. Positive beliefs can encourage us to take risks, take on new challenges and work hard towards our goals, while negative beliefs can cause us to withdraw, be insecure and miss opportunities.

  • Emotions and feelingsOur beliefs also influence our emotional reactions to different situations. Positive beliefs can promote a sense of joy, gratitude and fulfillment, while negative beliefs can lead to anxiety, frustration and depression.

  • RelationshipsOur beliefs about ourselves and other people also shape our interpersonal relationships. Positive beliefs promote trust, closeness and respect in relationships, while negative beliefs can lead to mistrust, conflict and separation.

  • Success and performanceOur beliefs about our abilities and potential significantly influence our success and performance. Positive beliefs can encourage us to work hard, overcome obstacles and achieve our goals, while negative beliefs can prevent us from reaching our full potential and realizing our dreams.

Beliefs in everyday life

The more critically you think and the more consciously you pay attention to your thought patterns, decision-making strategies and typical everyday behavior, the more often you will discover that a negative belief is sabotaging your success. Limiting beliefs lurk everywhere and are often reflected in the following patterns:

  • Excuses

  • Emotional reactions

  • Negative thoughts

  • Negative thought patterns

  • Assumptions

  • Doubts

  • Recurring patterns

  • Cultural myths

  • Urge for perfectionism

  • Justifications

  • Worries

  • Self-deception

  • Stereotypes

  • Self-optimization mania

  • Inner critic

  • All the stories we tell ourselves every day

Lurking in all these behaviors and patterns are deep-seated beliefs that, by filtering reality, decide what you actually do and how you react to certain things.

Changing beliefs

Now we come to perhaps the most important section of this article. It is dedicated to the question: „How can beliefs be changed?“ As beliefs operate at an unconscious level, they can only be changed there in the long term. These Shift begins with a clear and conscious decision and ends with the integration of an alternative belief, which can then do its automated duty in place of the former limiting belief. In order to be as specific as possible, I would like to describe this brief explanation in as much detail as possible by presenting the 7-step process for dissolving and changing limiting beliefs.

Changing limiting beliefs: The 7-step process

  1. Identify a negative belief and ask yourself the following question: “How exactly do I know this?”

  2. Analyze as consciously as possible how exactly the belief makes itself felt in your everyday life. When does it appear, what triggers it and what behaviors are typical consequences?

  3. Ask yourself: “What would happen if I kept this belief?”

  4. When analyzing persuasion, use the following idea as a guide: “Only argue for the limitations that you want to keep.”

  5. Formulate a positive alternative to replace the negative belief.

  6. Consciously and consistently integrate the new, positive belief into your everyday life.

  7. Give yourself at least 66 days and make a Habit out of it.

These seven steps follow a recurring pattern of change: bring an unconscious behavior to the surface. Change it there. Apply it consciously until it becomes a new unconscious habit.

What are beliefs - A final thought

Phew, I admit that dealing with the question „What are beliefs?“ ended up being a really long article. However, I very much hope that you now feel fully informed and that all your unanswered questions about beliefs have been answered. If this is not the case, I look forward to your comments and will then gradually add to the article.

Limiting beliefs as the cause of self-sabotage

Posted on by Mariana-A

Self-sabotage triggered by limiting beliefs probably prevents more people from achieving their personal goals and dreams than all other factors combined. What do I mean by that? It's quite simple. Perhaps you know this from friends, work colleagues or even from yourself. On a conscious level, you really want to achieve something, Achievements and turn their dreams into reality. But unconsciously, negative programming and beliefs ensure that consciously set plans are torpedoed, sabotaged and fought against.

In this blog article, we will look at the exact background and the solution to unconscious self-sabotage (I am talking about the ability to unlearn what we have learned). Let's start with a little journey back in time. Because that's where the origins lie.

Unconscious self-sabotage: the roots lie in childhood

May I make a confession? I was never a good student. I more or less muddled through from year 8 at the latest. And if I hadn't had some of my favorite subjects, my complete lack of interest in math, physics and chemistry would probably have broken my neck in terms of grades. But only today, many years and a great deal of life experience later, do I know why school and I never became best friends. It was because of the structure, the goals and the messages that were consciously or unconsciously drummed into me throughout my childhood.

Perhaps some of them sound familiar to you:

  • Seat still
  • Prepare well for the next exam
  • Adapt
  • Do your homework. Do not question
  • Follow the teacher's instructions
  • Learn by heart
  • Don't write over the edge in your notebook
  • Don't do more than necessary. Rules are more important than creativity
  • Stay in the background
  • The collective is more important than the individual
  • Avoid risks
  • Do what everyone does
  • Put the daydreams out of your head
  • Do what everyone does
  • And last but not least, of course, the well-known classic Good grades are more important than understanding something.

The result? The school system has killed my creativity and spirit of discovery. And because the methods from the 1980s are still in place today, millions of children are real experts at memorizing and passing exams, but have virtually no problem-solving skills.

Of course, this is not the teachers„ fault, because many teachers are super committed and really great. Unfortunately, they have to struggle with exactly the same obstacles, because the institution of school doesn't like creative teachers. Instead, it likes rigid curricula. Fixed structures. And no deviation from the norm under any circumstances. The status quo of the education system then leads to a situation where the only skill our children master perfectly after graduation is “being good at school".

But what is the relevance of memorizing facts that could be googled within a few seconds? How important is it to regurgitate answers that the teachers asking the questions already know? That's right, completely different skills are required in real life. Neither Astrid Lindgren, Elon Musk, Arianna Huffington or any other extraordinary personality owes their success to a school education. We are no longer living in an industrialized society where schools were supposed to produce conformist workers who would then work diligently and reliably on the assembly lines of factories. Unfortunately, being good at school is just as irrelevant when it comes to setting up a start-up, running a company or developing future-oriented ideas as if you were an absolute expert at bowling.

Messages of failure and programming get stuck in the subconscious

Things aren't getting any better in university either. The topics and content may be more complex, but it is still primarily about memorizing exam-relevant information. The practical application of knowledge in different contexts, on the other hand, plays virtually no role. It was a defining moment in my life when, as a newly qualified business graduate my career as a department store manager at Karstadt started. Werner Zeller, the head of department who was supposed to train me, greeted me straight away: „Grzeskowitz, it's nice that you studied. But no one is interested in that in real life. In practice, completely different skills are required. It's best to unlearn everything you learned at university as quickly as possible.“

Rumms. The announcement hit home. But it led to me adopting a new perspective. Because I realized that the imprints, messages and suggestions of the education system would only get in the way of my future. And before I knew it, I was facing what was probably the most difficult Shift of my life so far. I had to learn to unlearn everything I had grown up with. What had been drilled into me at school for years. I had to discard the messages from the past and redefine who I wanted to be. What I believe in. And which Mindset should drive me. There is a direct connection between the results in our lives and our current mindset, which you can imagine as follows.

Mindset unconscious self-sabotage

The mindset as a determining factor in thinking and behavior

However the Mindset you are currently going through life with, it is the unique combination of your Identity, your most important Values and your deepest convictions. This special mix not only determines your general world view, but also your skills, your behavior, your decision-making strategies and, at the end of the day, your results. Or to put it in a nutshell:

Your behavior is always a direct reflection of your mindset.

No matter how much you want to be a successful entrepreneur on an intellectual level, achieve financial freedom or finally find your partner for life. If your mindset is based on an identity that is contrary to these dreams and the associated beliefs, then you will do everything you can to ensure that reality aligns with your convictions. This is due to a universal correlation when it comes to change in life.

The more a behavior attacks our current mindset, the more we will unconsciously do everything we can to postpone or even completely prevent this behavior.

Please note that this process takes place completely unconsciously, even if you are rationally guided by your Targets are convinced. Nevertheless, people are true artists at unconsciously sabotaging all these consciously expressed intentions in order to preserve their own identity and the convictions that go with it.

Limiting beliefs as the origin of unconscious self-sabotage

Instead of beliefs, you can also say convictions or beliefs. This refers to the supposed facts and connections that you believe to be true, as well as the general principles of how life works, what is possible or who you are or could be as a person. Would you like a few examples? Here is an incomplete selection of a few classics:

  • Cobbler stick to your last
  • I am not good enough
  • Money corrupts character
  • Rather expect the worst, then you won't be disappointed
  • First the work, then the pleasure
  • Life is no walk in the park
  • Humanity is getting worse and worse
  • I magically attract failure
  • It's not that easy
  • To be successful, you have to extend your elbows
  • I am to blame for everything
  • I don't have the time for that
  • That may work for others, but it's different for me
  • Or my absolute favorite: change has to be hard for it to work.

I'm sure you're thinking of other examples as you read this, aren't you? Then let's move on to what is probably the most important characteristic of beliefs. They don't just appear out of nowhere and are suddenly there. Quite the opposite.

Beliefs always come from outside. We adopt them from other people.

Do you know a baby who was born racist? Do you know a little boy who goes through life with discriminatory prejudices? Or a girl who ostracizes her foreign friend in kindergarten because she is convinced that she will take her job away later on? You see, I don't either. We only learn all our beliefs (both positive and negative) over time from important people in our social environment. Whether we like it or not, we adopt the world view of our parents, relatives and later our teachers. At first, these beliefs are still very small and fragile. But the more we see them confirmed, the more they become entrenched. Until at some point they are deeply anchored in our subconscious, where they reliably unfold their effect.

Beliefs as a central pillar of the mindset

By the time we are teenagers at the latest, we have developed a mindset that serves as a compass for our lives. We have learned what is good and what is bad. What to do and what not to do. What place fate has assigned us and what our future will look like. And since the mass of messages we have been bombarded with has tended to be negative, the mass of our beliefs is correspondingly limiting. The result: despite our best intentions, we sabotage ourselves and struggle with the constant feeling that we are running into a glass wall. Because our behavior is always a reflection of our mindset. And what is even more insidious is that we are completely unaware of all this.

„Okay Ilja, if my mindset automatically influences my abilities, my behavior and my decisions, then all I have to do is change my mindset in a positive way and my subconscious programs will automatically lead me closer to my goals and dreams, right?“ I'm glad you asked. My answer comes in Radio Yerevan style (based on the jokes that were very popular in my youth) and is: In principle, yes, because the big challenge is actually lurking in the inconspicuous word. It doesn't work at the snap of a finger and takes a certain amount of time. As you can see in the illustration, the only way to permanently change your mindset through your thoughts, decisions and behavior is through conscious learning.

Learning to unlearn: one of the most important skills of the future

The basic process of learning how to unlearn something is surprisingly simple. It involves identifying a limiting pattern and bringing it from the subconscious to the conscious surface. There we can then replace it with a beneficial alternative and turn it back into an unconscious automatism that then does its positive work for us. Sounds simple at first, doesn't it? And it is. However, as is so often the case, the word simple means, above all, not complicated and not easy. Because unconscious patterns can be extremely stubborn and it takes a great deal of discipline, commitment and perseverance to transform a negative habit into a positive one.

Of course, I know that these values don't sound particularly sexy in times when everyone just wants to live in the moment and have all their needs met immediately. But not only is it worthwhile, it can also be a lot of fun. If you look at the illustration, you can see the 4-step process at a glance.

Learning to unlearn: breaking through and overcoming unconscious self-sabotage

Before we look at the individual stages, it is important that we take another detailed look at the principle of unconscious automatisms. They always work in the same way. Imagine that you are writing a computer program based on the following algorithm: Whenever X happens, respond with Y. A classic stimulus-response scheme. In the context of human behavior, X is a certain trigger that evokes an emotional response, reminds us of a certain experience or triggers a state. Images, words, sounds, smells, tastes or tones can serve as triggers. If such a trigger is activated, our subconscious automatically rewinds the learned program. Here are some specific examples:

  • You smell the aroma of fresh cake and immediately remember a wonderful situation from your childhood
  • Your partner reacts to a suggestion with a typical facial expression and you automatically feel insecure
  • You listen to your favorite song in the car and are motivated as if by magic
  • You look at your overflowing email inbox and immediately start distracting yourself with pointless social media surfing
  • Your boss uses a certain tone of voice and you feel insecure
  • Before a presentation, you look into the faces of your audience and your heart starts to beat faster
  • You're driving down the highway hungry and spot the glowing M of a large fast food chain. Although you want to eat healthily, you pull off at the exit and order a double cheeseburger with fries and a milkshake (you know, I got this example from a friend)

Overcoming unconscious self-sabotage: The 4-step process

In each of these examples, the respective trigger ensures that an automatic program is unwound. Your subconscious doesn't care whether it's something positive or negative. Only one thing is important: when X happens, it reacts with Y. This leads to a crucial insight. If we are dissatisfied with Y, then we have to start with X.

Overcoming unconscious self-sabotage Level 1: Awareness

Your subconscious runs at full speed every day. You think, decide and act. The problem is that the whole process is so automated that it has become so normal for you that you no longer even notice it. The aim of this step is to cut through this unconscious loop and bring unconscious patterns to the conscious surface. To do this, go through life with a high degree of mindfulness.

Be aware of which triggers trigger which behavior in you. Which thoughts you think in which situations. Which strategy your Decisions determined. And which patterns you can recognize in your behaviour. At first, this will seem like an almost impossible task. No wonder, because where your everyday life was on autopilot not long ago, you are now taking the wheel into your own hands. But mindfulness can also be trained. And the more consciously you become of the many processes that were previously completely unconscious, the easier step two will be for you.

Overcoming unconscious self-sabotage Level 2: Unlearning

The more mindfully you go through life, the more unconscious patterns you will notice that are limiting rather than beneficial for you. Now choose one of these patterns that you would like to change. Pay close attention to the strategies behind the behavior for a few days. How exactly does the pattern work? What exactly do you do and in what order do you do it? Which senses are involved? And most importantly: What trigger sets off the behavior? The aim is to interrupt the learned program „If X happens, then react with Y“ as consciously as possible and reprogram it in the next step.

Overcoming unconscious self-sabotage Level 3: Learning

Now it's time to make a decision. Which alternative behavior would you like to establish as an unconscious automatism instead of the old one? Unfortunately, it is not enough to simply say goodbye to a negative habit. Without a positive alternative, this attempt is doomed to failure. Why? Because once the behavior has been banished, a vacuum is created. Whenever trigger X is triggered, the „program“ desperately searches for the usual reaction Y.

If you do not offer an alternative at this point, people will revert to their old behavior after a short time. It is not enough just to decide that you no longer want to eat fast food, for example, you also need the corresponding new choice. The algorithm could then look like this: „Whenever I see the glowing M on the highway, I take a deep breath, drink a sip of water and enjoy a protein bar.“

Overcoming unconscious self-sabotage Level 4: Habit

The final step is to turn the chosen change into a new - and beneficial - automatism. The more consciously you associate the trigger with the new behavior, the more successful the transformation will be. As James Clear describes in his bestseller Atomic Habits, it takes an average of 66 days to establish a new habit. So why not start a project that takes just as long? Two factors are important here. Firstly, consciously incorporating the new behavior into your everyday life. And secondly, regularity. Because the more often the new program is repeated, the more likely it is to sink back into your subconscious and from then on achieve its positive effect as an automatism.

Unconscious self-sabotage: examples from everyday life

In this way, you have a wonderful method at hand to unlearn limiting patterns, establish new habits and thus gradually overcome your unconscious self-sabotage. Do you still need some inspiration as to which areas are worth learning how to unlearn unconscious automatisms? Here we go:

  • Limiting beliefs
  • Poor decision-making strategies
  • Negative thought patterns
  • Unnecessary assumptions
  • Impulsive behavior
  • Emotional reactions
  • Unfounded prejudices
  • The tendency to look for excuses as to why something doesn't work
  • The focus on problems
  • Excessive doubting
  • The tendency to justify oneself
  • The urge for perfectionism
  • The stories you tell yourself every day

I wish you joy and success in discovering and breaking through your unconscious self-sabotage. But make sure that you don't want too much at once. Not only is automaticity more than enough at the moment, but you also increase the likelihood of lasting change.

Positive mindset: passion and dedication as success factors

Posted on by Mariana-A
Wie entsteht eigentlich ein positives Mindset? Wie so häufig ist die Antwort auf eine solch einfache Frage durchaus komplex. Gleichsam gibt es aber zwei Erfolgsfaktoren, die einen sehr großen Hebel haben. Ich spreche von Leidenschaft und Herzblut, also dem wie, warum und wofür wir etwas tun. Ich wage nämlich direkt zu Beginn dieses Artikels eine These: In all den Dingen, die Sie mit Herzblut und Leidenschaft tun, werden Sie langfristig richtig gut. Und starten auf diese Weise eine sich selbst verstärkende Spirale, die von ganz alleine dafür sorgt, ein positives Mindset zu entwickeln. Um das zu erläutern, möchte ich mit einer Geschichte beginnen.
 

Ein positives Mindset beflügelt – Nur Mittelmaß ist anstrengend

Die meisten Erinnerungen an meinen Opa sind im Laufe der Jahre verblasst. Dafür sind andere so präsent, als würde er immer noch leben. Neben dem Stopfen seiner Pfeife und dem täglichen Lösen des Kreuzworträtsels in der lokalen Tageszeitung ist es vor allem ein Satz, den er so häufig wiederholt hat, dass sich die Worte bis heute in mein Gedächtnis eingebrannt haben: „Ilja, was auch immer Du vorhast. Egal, ob es sich um etwas Großes oder Kleines handelt. Ob es wichtig oder unwichtig ist. Ob Du es für Dich oder für andere Menschen tust. Mach es gut oder mach es gar nicht. Alles andere ist nur Wischiwaschi.“ 
 
Bis heute bin ich froh, dass ich mir dieses Mantra nicht nur zu Herzen genommen, sondern es im Laufe der Jahre zu meiner eigenen Version weiterentwickelt habe. Diese möchte ich gerne mit Ihnen teilen:
 
Egal, was Sie im Leben vorhaben. Ob es sich um ein großes Projekt oder eine kleine Alltagstätigkeit handelt. Ob es wichtig oder vermeintlich unwichtig ist. Ob Sie es für sich selber oder für jemand anderen machen. Tun Sie es mit Herzblut. Oder lassen Sie es bleiben.
 
Wenn Sie diesen vermeintlich kleinen Mindset-Shift nicht nur in seiner vollen Gänze verstehen, sondern zum Kompass Ihres täglichen Handelns werden lassen, dann werden Sie nicht nur eine deutliche Zunahme an Leichtigkeit und Selbstvertrauen spüren, sondern auch über eine nachhaltig ausgeprägte Motivation. Dies ist übrigens keine theoretische Überlegung, sondern lässt sich immer wieder in den verschiedensten Kontexten beobachten. Ich wage sogar die Behauptung, dass die generelle Zufriedenheit im Leben immer ein direkter Spiegel unseres inneren Feuers ist. 
 

Ein positives Mindset ist eine bewusste Entscheidung

Eine Aufgabe, das eigene Arbeitsumfeld oder ein ganzer Job ist immer nur dann gewöhnlich, wenn wir uns dazu entscheiden, ihn so zu bewerten. Wenn wir uns hingegen entscheiden, auch die vermeintlich kleinen Tätigkeiten mit Leidenschaft und Hingabe zu erledigen, dann führt dies zwangsläufig zu einem hohen Grad an Bedeutung. Allerdings beschleicht mich das Gefühl, dass Menschen, die sich von einem positiven Mindset antreiben lassen immer mehr zu Exoten werden, während die Nörgler und Miesepeter stellvertretend für die zunehmende Unzufriedenheit vieler Menschen stehen. 
 
As Changemaker ist es daher entscheidend, dass Sie die bewusste Entscheidung treffen, sich von der immer weiter ausbreitenden Unzufriedenheit, Berufsempörtheit und Negativität in der Gesellschaft nicht anstecken lassen. Ein Leben zu führen, das diesen Namen auch wirklich verdient. Es mit Haut und Haaren zu genießen. Und Ihre Zukunft aktiv und voller Leidenschaft zu gestalten, anstatt die Launen des Schicksals passiv über sich ergehen zu lassen. Die gilt besonders für Ihren Beruf. Würden Sie mir zustimmen, dass das Leben einfach zu kurz ist, um es mit einem Job zu verschwenden, der keinen Spaß macht, langweilt und Sie gleichzeitig eine Menge Kraft kostet? Dann kommt hier eine weitere große Idee:
 
Nur Mittelmaß ist anstrengend und frustriert. Herzblut führt zu mehr Leichtigkeit, Energie und außergewöhnlichen Resultaten.
 
Wann immer Sie etwas nur mit halbem Herzen und voller Gleichgültigkeit tun, werden Sie sich schlapp, ausgelaugt und wenig motiviert fühlen. Sobald Sie sich hingegen trauen, Ihr inneres Feuer lichterloh brennen zu lassen, werden Sie nicht nur Ihre eigene Zufriedenheit dramatisch steigern, sondern auch die Menschen um Sie herum mit Ihrer Begeisterungsfähigkeit anstiften, es Ihnen gleich zu tun. Es ist daher an der Zeit, die Entwicklung von Leidenschaft und Herzblut nicht dem Zufall zu überlassen. 
 
Diese beiden Eigenschaften zu einem roten Faden Ihres Wirkens werden zu lassen. Und sie sowohl bei den großen und wichtigen Aufgaben einzusetzen, aber auch bei den vermeintlich kleinen Tätigkeiten. Denn egal, wo Sie aktuell stehen, wenn Sie Ihr Leben zu einem Meisterwerk machen wollen, dann geht es ohne die emotionale Hingabe für den Moment ganz einfach nicht. Oder wie es die Prinzessin Elisabeth zu Wied, die spätere Königin von Rumänien treffend auf den Punkt brachte: „Das Leben ist eine Kunst, in der man nur zu oft ein Dilettant bleibt. Um Meisterschaft zu erringen, muss man sein Herzblut vergießen.“ Ihr positives Mindset wird es Ihnen danken.
 

Leidenschaft und Herzblut bewusst entwickeln

Geringe Ansprüche, Negativität und Gleichgültigkeit führen zu Frust und Unzufriedenheit, während echte Leidenschaft ungeahnte Kräfte wecken kann. Aber woran erkennen Sie überhaupt, ob Sie gerade dabei sind, ihr ganzes Herzblut in eine Tätigkeit zu legen? Typische Indikatoren sind die folgenden:
 
  • Ihre Augen strahlen von ganz alleine
  • Sie vergessen alles um sich herum
  • Ihr Herz schlägt schneller
  • Sie müssen weder eine Rolle spielen, noch eine unbequeme Maske aufsetzen, sondern können ganz sie selber sein
  • Sie verspüren eine tiefe innere Motivation
  • Sie tun es Dinge, weil sie wichtig sind, nicht um die Erwartungen anderer Menschen zu erfüllen
  • Es kribbelt in Ihrem Bauch
  • Sie spüren ein Gefühl von Dankbarkeit und Demut
 
Ich weiß nicht wie es Ihnen geht, aber mich erinnern all diese Symptome an den Zustand, wenn Sie hoffnungslos verliebt sind. Möglicherweise liegt es auch daran, dass ich mir kaum etwas Schöneres vorstellen kann, als sie so oft es geht und so intensiv zu erleben. Geht es Ihnen ähnlich? Dann lassen Sie uns Ihr inneres Feuer entfachen, indem wir uns die sechs wichtigsten Herzblut Multiplikatoren anschauen.
 

Herzblut Multiplikator 1: Prioritäten setzen

Je häufiger Sie die verschiedensten Tätigkeiten des Alltags mit Herzblut angehen, desto besser werden auch ihre Ergebnisse aussehen. Dies ist keine große Kunst, wenn es sich um die wirklich wichtigen Vorhaben handelt. Entscheidend ist es aber, auch die Dinge mit Leidenschaft zu erledigen, die wir alle am liebsten so schnell wie möglich hinter uns bringen würden. Ich rede vom Ausfüllen von Excel Tabellen, dem Sortieren von Steuerbelegen, Geschirrspülen oder all den Aufgaben, die einfach nur stupide abgearbeitet werden müssen. Klare Prioritäten helfen hier. Lassen Sie sich nicht mehr auf halbe Sachen ein und machen Sie etwas entweder ganz (mit Herzblut) oder gar nicht. Ihre Energie und Motivation wird es Ihnen danken.
 

Herzblut Multiplikator 2: Die Art und Weise

Wie entsteht Bedeutun? Richtig, Sie müssen den Sinn in Tätigkeiten, Dinge und Jobs hineingeben. Es ist also entscheidend, auf welche Art und Weise Sie eine Aufgabe erledigen. Ob Sie dies halbherzig und vielleicht sogar gelangweilt tun, oder mit einer ansteckenden Leidenschaft. Ich bewundere sämtliche Menschen, die Ihren Beruf mit genau diesem Mindset angehen.
 
Lehrerinnen, die Ihre Schüler so behandeln, als wäre jeder einzelne von ihnen ein Genie. Steuerberater, die mit Zahlen jonglieren, als gäbe es auf der Welt nichts Schöneres. Oder Hotelmitarbeiter, die Ihren Gästen an der Rezeption das Gefühl geben, in einem zweiten Zuhause eingecheckt zu haben. Wie auch immer Ihr ganz persönlicher Job aussieht, erledigen Sie sämtliche Aufgaben stets mit maximaler Hingabe, denn dadurch erhalten auch die vermeintlich unwichtigen Dinge eine große Bedeutung.
 

Herzblut Multiplikator 3: Die Menschen in Ihrem Umfeld

Würden Sie mir zustimmen, dass es ein extrem kraftvoller Motivator sein kann, anderen Menschen etwas Gutes zu tun? Dies können Ihre Kunden, Ihre Kollegen, Ihre Geschäftspartner, aber auch Ihre Familie und Freunde sein. Ich könnte es niemals so gut formulieren wie Zig Ziglar, der gesagt hat: „Du kannst alles im Leben haben, was Du willst. Wenn Du nur genug anderen Menschen dabei hilfst, das zu bekommen, was sie wollen.“ Wie wahr.
 
Wenn ich mich mal wieder in einem Zustand befinde, der von wenig Energie und Motivation gekennzeichnet ist, dann muss ich nur einen Blick auf das Bild meiner beiden Töchter auf dem Schreibtisch werfen. Und innerhalb eines einzigen Augenblicks ist mein Herzblut wieder da. Weil ich weiß, für wen ich jeden einzelnen Tag aufstehe und versuche, mein Bestes zu geben.
 

Herzblut Multiplikator 4: Das persönliche New York im Leben

Sobald Sie Ihr persönliches New York im Leben, Ihren Purpose oder Ihr starkes WARUM gefunden haben, fallen sämtliche Dominosteine auf einmal von ganz alleine. Lassen Sie mich erklären, was ich damit meine. In meinem Job als Keynote Speaker gibt es eine Menge Faktoren, die ich nicht so wirklich mag. Das Warten am Flughafen, überfüllte und verspätete Züge, einsame Nächte in anonymen Hotelzimmern, die monatliche Buchhaltung oder diverse andere administrative Tätigkeiten.
 
Dafür liebe ich es, auf der Bühne zu stehen, und Organisationen dabei zu unterstützen, eine positive Kultur der Veränderung zu etablieren. Ich liebe es Menschen dabei zu helfen, Ihre Träume zu leben und Ihre Ziele mutig anzugehen. Und ich liebe es, mit meinen Büchern einen kleinen Beitrag zu leisten, die Welt ein kleines Stückchen besser zu hinterlassen, als ich sie vorgefunden habe. Und dieser kraftvolle Purpose führt ganz automatisch dazu, dass ich das WIE und das WAS voller Leidenschaft angehe. Und zwar nicht nur in den Highlight-Momenten, sondern auch in den Situationen, die mir grundsätzlich nicht besonders viel Freude bereiten.
 

Herzblut Multiplikator 5: Die eigenen Werte leben

Haben Sie sich schon einmal gefragt, woran es liegt, dass Sie unmotiviert, lustlos und ohne jegliche Energie sind? Der Grund ist fast immer der gleiche: Ihr Verhalten und Ihre wichtigsten Values befinden sich in einem Konflikt. Und das geschieht fast immer dann, wenn Sie die Goals anderer Menschen verfolgen, versuchen, den Erwartungen Ihres Umfelds gerecht zu werden und eine unbequeme Maske tragen, die mit Ihrer tatsächlichen Persönlichkeit überhaupt nichts zu tun hat.
 
Die Lösung klingt in der Theorie einfach, ist aber durchaus herausfordernd. Machen Sie eine radikal ehrliche Analyse und werden Sie sich Ihrer wichtigsten Werte bewusst. Und ich rede hier nicht, von denjenigen, die gesellschaftlich akzeptiert sind, sich gerade im Trend befinden, oder die andere Menschen von Ihnen erwarten. Ich rede von den Werten, die für Sie essentiell und grundsätzlich nicht verhandelbar sind. Sobald Sie Klarheit haben, gilt es, diese Werte zu leben. Jeden einzelnen Tag. Dies ist nicht immer ganz leicht, aber es lohnt sich sehr. Denn wenn sich Ihr Handeln und Ihre Werte im Einklang befinden, dann müssen Sie sich über Leidenschaft und Herzblut keine Gedanken mehr machen.
 

Herzblut Multiplikator 6: Dankbarkeit

Zu guter Letzt möchte ich Ihnen noch eine Art Geheimwaffe des Herzbluts vorstellen. Sie ist daher so wirkungsvoll, weil sie so selten ist. Denn die meisten Menschen sind zwar Weltmeister darin, sich über all das zu beschweren, was Ihnen vermeintlich fehlt, vergessen dabei aber gleichsam die Dinge, die sich bereits in ihrem Leben befinden. Sobald Sie beginnen, dieses Mangeldenken zu verbannen und durch Dankbarkeit für die unterschiedlichsten Wunder des Alltags zu ersetzen, wird sich nicht nur Ihre Leidenschaft dramatisch erhöhen, sondern Ihre Lebensqualität insgesamt. „Aber Ilja, wofür soll ich schon dankbar sein? Ich muss nämlich jeden einzelnen Tag ganz schön kämpfen.“ Gut, dass Sie fragen. Hier daher einige Beispiele, wofür es sich lohnt, ganz bewusst dankbar zu sein:
 
  • Die Menschen in Ihrem Leben
  • Ihre Gesundheit
  • Dass Sie ein Dach über dem Kopf und einen vollen Kühlschrank haben
  • All das, was Sie in Ihrem Leben schon erreicht haben (machen Sie gerne mal eine Liste, es ist so viel mehr, als Sie denken)
  • Dass Sie Zugang zu Trinkwasser und Elektrizität haben
  • Die Kunden, für die Sie tolle Projekte abwickeln dürfen
  • Die unzähligen Chancen und Möglichkeiten, die nur darauf warten, von Ihnen ergriffen und genutzt zu werden
 

Positives Mindset in einem Satz: Tun Sie das, was Sie erfüllt. So oft wie möglich.

Ich empfehle Ihnen sehr, diese kleine Aufzählung unbedingt noch mit weiteren Beispielen zu ergänzen. Und wann immer Sie in Versuchung geraten, sich mal wieder über irgendeine Kleinigkeit aufzuregen, reicht eine Erinnerung an die Liste, um Sie daran zu erinnern, wie unwichtig das vermeintliche Problem doch ist, und wie dankbar Sie doch können, einen weiteren Tag auf dieser wunderbaren Erde geschenkt zu bekommen.
 
Wenn Sie die einzelnen Multiplikatoren miteinander kombinieren, dann können Sie das Leben in vollen Zügen, insbesondere aber mit maximaler Leidenschaft und einer großen Portion Herzblut genießen.
 
Tun Sie das, was Sie erfüllt. Und zwar so oft wie möglich.
 
Je mehr Sie für eine Sache brennen, desto besser werden Sie darin, und auch Ihre Ergebnisse werden sich entsprechend anpassen. Wird es dadurch leichter? Nein, auch wenn es bei Menschen, die von Herzblut getrieben sind, von Außen immer so mühelos und einfach aussieht, ist dies leider nicht der Fall. So leid es mir tut, das Leben wird niemals leichter. Stattdessen führt ein positives Mindset zu einer persönlichen Entwicklung, die Sie in die Lage versetzt, besser darin zu werden, die harten Aufgaben zu meistern und mit schwierigen Situationen umzugehen. 
 
Alles steht und fällt mit Ihrem inneren Feuer. Wie man dieses regelmäßig einem Checkup unterziehen kann, hat Steve Jobs einst in einem Interview verraten: „In den letzten 33 Jahren habe ich jeden Tag in den Spiegel geschaut und mich gefragt: Wenn heute der letzte Tag meines Lebens wäre, würde ich dann tun wollen, was ich heute tun werde? Und immer, wenn die Antwort für zu viele Tage hintereinander „Nein“ lautete, wusste ich, dass ich etwas verändern muss.“ Dem ist nichts hinzuzufügen

Learn positive thinking in 6 steps

Posted on by Mariana-A
Beginnen wir diesen Artikel mit einer guten Nachricht und einer harten Wahrheit. Zu erst die gute Nachricht: Positives Denken lernen ist gar nicht so schwer. Und direkt im Anschluß der Hinweis, dass Sie ohne Positivität niemals in der Lage sein werden, ein zufriedenes Leben führen. Zum Glück gilt dies auch umgekehrt. Selbst wenn Sie positives Denken nur in Minischritten ausbauen, kann ein positives Mindset dazu führen, dass Sie trotzdem große Entwicklungssprünge machen. Und es gibt 6 Erfolgsfaktoren, mit denen es Ihnen das am besten gelingt.
 

Seien Sie positiv. Immer. 

So schwer und hart bestimmte Situationen auch sein mögen, die große Kunst ist es, den Fokus immer auf die positiven Aspekte zu richten. In seinem Buch Think and Grow Rich hat Napoleon Hill dies perfekt beschrieben, als er feststellte, dass Ihr Gehirn nur einen Gedanken zurzeit denken kann. Und dieser kann entweder positiv oder negativ sein. Eine schöne Metapher hierfür ist eine dieser altmodischen Jukeboxes, die früher fast in jeder Kneipe standen. Nachdem man zehn Pfennig eingeworfen und die Taste „D7“ gedrückt hatte, ging ein Greifarm nach hinten und entnahm die gewählte Platte dem Register . 
 
Und Sekunden später hat es dann Zoom gemacht, weil Sie sich zum wiederholten Male „Tausendmal berührt“ von Klaus Lage ausgesucht hatten. In Ihrem Kopf läuft ein ähnlicher Prozess ab. Wenn Sie sich in einer neuen Situation befinden, dann hat Ihr Gehirn zwei Gedanken zur Auswahl, auf die es zurückgreifen kann. Einen positiven und einen negativen. Die Wahl geschieht in 99% der Fälle unbewusst und wird sowohl von Ihrer grundsätzlichen Attitude als auch der Summe sämtlicher Ideen und Botschaften bestimmt, denen Sie ich täglich aussetzen. 
 
Und es erstaunt nicht, dass bei vielen Menschen der metaphorische Greifarm vollkommen automatisiert und konditioniert den negativen Gedanken wählt. Und das ist tragisch, denn Sie werden nun mal das, was Sie dauerhaft denken. Sind Sie mutig genug, einmal zu prüfen, zu welcher Kategorie Sie aktuell gehören? Hier sind die zehn größten Unterschiede zwischen einem negativen und einem positiven Mindset. 
 

Menschen mit einem negativen Mindset

  • See life as one big battle
  • Focus on problems and always know what is not working
  • See themselves as victims of external circumstances
  • Think they are „finished“ and already know and can do everything
  • Are masters at making excuses
  • Beschweren sich viel und eben sofort auf, wenn etwas nicht klappt
  • Thinking in terms of scarcity and believing that there is too little of everything
  • Imagine in the brightest colors what can go wrong
  • React passively to external events
  • Make other people small 
 

Menschen mit einem positiven Mindset

  • See life as a great gift
  • Focus on solutions and think in terms of possibilities
  • See themselves as creators of their own reality
  • Consequences of the philosophy of lifelong learning
  • Take responsibility. For the good and the bad results
  • Accept things that are out of your control and make the best of every situation
  • Thinking in abundance and that there is enough of everything for everyone
  • Dream big, set challenging goals and do everything to achieve them
  • Embrace change and actively shape the future
  • Make other people great 

 

Der Unterschied zwischen positiven und negativen Menschen

Der Unterschied wird ziemlich schnell deutlich, nicht wahr? Während positive Menschen wie ein Magnet sind, von dem sich ihr Umfeld magisch angezogen fühlt, verfangen sich negative Menschen in einer zerstörerischen Abwärtsspirale, aus der es nur ganz schwer wieder ein Entkommen gibt. Oder kennen Sie auch nur eine einzige Person, die es mit einer negativen Setting im Leben zu etwas gebracht hat? 
 
Sehen Sie, ich auch nicht. Lassen Sie uns also anschauen, welches die größten Hebel sind, wenn Sie den achten Erfolgsfaktor Positivität erfolgreich ausbauen und einsetzen wollen.
 

Positives Denken lernen Schritt 1: Verantwortung für die eigenen Gedanken 

Hier kommt eine Frage, die das Potenzial besitzt, Ihr Mindset und Ihr Leben dramatisch zu verändern: Wer denkt eigentlich Ihre Gedanken? Und wenn Sie jetzt spontan antworten „Ähm, natürlich ich, wer denn sonst?“, dann möchte ich Ihnen eine alternative Perspektive anbieten. Die Chancen stehen nämlich gut, dass ein Großteil Ihrer täglichen Gedanken von Außen kommt. Von den Medien, dem Internet, Ihren Kollegen, der Werbung, Ihrer Familie oder dem Fernsehen. Und sie die verschiedensten Ideen ungefiltert übernehmen und als Ihre eigenen einordnen. 
 
Leider hat dies zwei riesige Probleme zur Folge: Erstens ist der Großteil Botschaften, Beliefs und Suggestionen negativ und zweitens passt sich ihre grundsätzliche Haltung schleichend dieser limitierenden Weltsicht an. Echte Freiheit beginnt, sobald Sie Verantwortung für Ihre Gedanken übernehmen. Sich so oft es geht ganz bewusst fragen: „Ist dieser Gedanke meinem eigenen Mindset entsprungen oder stammt er von Außen?“ Schritt für Schritt sind Sie so in der Lage, die Spirale der unbewussten Programmierungen zu unterbrechen und zum Denker Ihrer eigenen Gedanken zu werden. 
 
Dies funktioniert übrigens um so besser, je mehr Sie ganz bewusst darauf achten, nur noch qualitativ hochwertige Informationen aus entsprechenden Medien zu konsumieren. Und diese natürlich trotzdem einer kritischen Prüfung unterziehen. 
 

Positives Denken lernen Schritt 2: Fokus auf Lösungen 

Ein positives Mindset und der Fokus auf Lösungen und Möglichkeiten hängen untrennbar miteinander zusammen. Denn wohin Ihre Aufmerksamkeit gerichtet ist, dahin fließen Ihre Zeit, Ihre Energie und auch sämtliche anderen Ressourcen. Und wohin diese Dinge fließen, davon bekommen Sie mehr. So einfach ist das. Aber bedeutet dies, dass Sie Probleme ab sofort ignorieren sollten, um Sie mit Ihrer Aufmerksamkeit nicht noch zu vergrößern? 
 
Natürlich nicht. Hier empfehle ich Ihnen folgenden Fokus-Hack: Nehmen Sie das Problem wahr, akzeptieren Sie dessen Existenz, aber denken Sie gleichzeitig bereits über mögliche Lösungen nach. Dies bedingt ebenfalls, dass Sie sämtliche Faktoren loslassen, die Sie nicht kontrollieren können. Und sich auf die Dinge konzentrieren, die in Ihrem Einflussbereich liegen. Ein wahrer Gamechanger, wenn dieses Mindset zu einem unbewussten Automatismus geworden ist.

Positives Denken lernen Schritt 3: Positiv sein, wenn es drauf ankommt 

Auch beim Thema Positivität spielt die Balance eine wichtige Rolle. Denn niemand ist durchgehend positiv. Auch die erfolgreichsten Möglichkeitsdenker zweifeln, machen sich sorgen und haben Angst vor den unterschiedlichsten Dingen. Aber wenn es drauf ankommt, dann sind Sie in der Lage, einen Schalter umzulegen und sich für die positive Platte ihrer inneren Jukebox zu entscheiden. Je eher Sie also auch negative Gedanken akzeptieren, desto größer die Wahrscheinlichkeit, dass Sie besser darin werden, diese in den entscheidenden Momenten in eine positive Richtung umzuleiten.
 

Positives Denken lernen Schritt 4: Begeisterungsfähig sein 

Kennen Sie auch diese Zeitgenossen, die bei jeder noch so guten Idee das Haar in der Suppe suchen, Ihnen umgehend mitteilen, was bei Umsetzen einer neuen Idee alles garantiert schiefgehen wird? Okay, das war jetzt eine rhetorische Frage, denn die Welt ist leider voll von ihnen. Aber wer umgibt sich schon gerne mit solchen Miesepetern? Natürlich niemand. Wovon sich Menschen hingegen magisch angezogen fühlen, sind begeisterungsfähige Changemaker, die sich voller Herzblut und Leidenschaft auf neue Ideen und unerwartete Situationen einlassen.
 

Positives Denken lernen Schritt 5: Positive Glaubenssätze definieren

Ich glaube fest daran, dass sich alle Problems im Leben mit dem richtigen Mindset lösen lassen. Natürlich bin ich mir bewusst, dass es sich hierbei nur um einen Glaubenssatz handelt. Aber er ist dermaßen kraftvoll, dass er mir seit vielen Jahren treue Dienste leistet. Ich möchte Sie daher an einen wichtigen Zusammenhang erinnern:
 
Ob Sie glauben, dass Sie etwas schaffen, oder ob Sie glauben, dass Sie es nicht schaffen: Sie werden auf jeden Fall Recht behalten. Es ist daher eine sehr gute Idee, sich einige Überzeugungen bewusst zu definieren, an dem sich Ihre innere Haltung ausrichten kann. Neben dem bereits erwähnten Beispiel sind es bei mir u.a. folgende:
 
  • Commitment, Fleiß und Durchhaltevermögen zahlen sich am Ende immer aus 
  • Wenn ich viel und gerne gebe, bekomme ich auf lange Sicht doppelt und dreifach zurück
  • Wenn ich regelmäßig mutige Decisions treffe, wird mich das Leben reich beschenken 
  • Ein positives Mindset wird mir sämtliche Türen im Leben öffnen
 
Handelt es sich dabei um universelle Wahrheiten? Höchstwahrscheinlich nicht. Aber seitdem ich diese Glaubenssätze bewusst als Leuchtturmideen in meinem Leben definiert habe, passieren mir Dinge, die auch auf mich immer wieder wie ein kleines Wunder wirken. Wollen Sie ähnliches erleben? Dann definieren Sie am besten noch heute Ihre ganz persönlichen positiven Überzeugungen.
 

Positives Denken lernen Schritt 6: Über sich selber lachen können 

Negative Menschen haben einfach keinen Humor. Weil sie so sehr damit beschäftigt sind, sich um Probleme zu drehen, anderen Menschen davon zu erzählen und sich dann in ihrer Unzufriedenheit zu baden, haben sie auch gar keine Zeit dafür. Positive Changemaker hingegen lachen viel und oft, vor allem über sich selber. Warum das so wichtig ist? Zum einen ist nichts so positiv ansteckend wie Humor. Und zweitens öffnen Sie dadurch sehr häufig einen kleinen Spalt in der Tür zu möglichen Changes, der dann im Laufe der Zeit immer größer wird. 
 
Je mehr Sie daher über die ernsten Situationen des Lebens lachen können und gleichzeitig die vermeintlich kleinen Dinge mit einer großen Ernsthaftigkeit, desto mehr wird dies auf den Erfolgsfaktor Positivität einzahlen. Wenn ich alle sechs Hebel in einer Aussage zusammenfassen müsste, dann wäre es diese:
 
Seien Sie positiv. Und zwar immer.
 

Positive Menschen sind einfach erfolgreicher

Eine positive Attitüde ist nicht nur die geheime Zutat Ihrer Persönlichkeit, sondern auch der Schlüssel zum Erfolg im Business, in zwischenmenschlichen Beziehungen, im Sport und in sämtlichen anderen Lebensbereichen. Natürlich erfordert das eine Menge Commitment und auch Konsistenz. So gut wie jeder kann für einen Tag positiv sein. Viele Menschen schaffen es auch für ein paar Wochen. Wenige halten es mehrere Monate durch. Aber die richtig großen Räder drehen immer die außergewöhnlichen Persönlichkeiten, die sich Ihre Positivität über mehrere Dekaden bewahrt haben. 
 
Und daher fehlt in unserer Aufzählung noch ein weiterer Faktor, wenn Sie positives denken lernen als Ihr Ziel definiert haben. Ich spreche von der Gier nach Siegen, dem unstillbaren Hunger nach Success und dem Drang, sich niemals mit dem Status Quo zufrieden zu geben. Denn am Ende des Tages ist es immer die Konsistenz, die nachhaltige Ergebnisse sicherstellt.

Out of the comfort zone - guaranteed to work with the 4-zone model

Posted on by Mariana-A
Get out of your comfort zone. Have you heard this phrase before? Maybe said it yourself a time or two? I admit it, in my Keynotes and Books I have often called for this, sustainable changes by following the motto “Get out of your comfort zone”. But what sounds so simple in theory is often quite difficult to implement in everyday life. In this article, I would therefore like to introduce you to the 4-zone model of change, which will make it easier for you to leave your comfort zone, enter unknown territory and thus grow as a person in the long term. 
 

Get out of your comfort zone - what you can learn from (your) children

The perfect role models for regularly leaving your comfort zone are (your) children. With infectious curiosity, they regularly try out all kinds of different things. Test their own limits. Leave their comfort zone. And when they are confronted with the inevitable failures, they don't complain about it, but try it out in a different way. 
 
Yes, you could almost think that children invented the advice “Get out of your comfort zone”. Because they are true masters in dealing with any kind of change. Don't you find it fascinating how much joy young people take in new experiences and feel almost magically attracted to the unknown? You would never expect children to say things like „We've never done it like this before„, „That never works“ or „I'd rather not try, it could go wrong“. Instead, like human chameleons, they can adapt to almost any new situation, let their imagination and creativity guide them and learn almost any sport, musical instrument or even new languages within a few weeks.
 

In love with the unknown - desire for growth and development

Unfortunately, most children are bombarded with the same messages over and over again by a wide variety of caregivers by the time they reach their teenage years: „Adapt„, „You must finally become sensible„, „An end to eternal daydreaming“ or „Now the serious side of life begins“ are just a few of them. And before you know it, the former abundance of lightness is lost and replaced by supposed reason, skepticism and a convulsive adherence to the status quo. 
 
Without ever wanting to, you have become a conformist, mediocre and, above all, functional member of society who has lost any form of fun, joy or satisfaction. I don't know about you, but I find that tragic. Fortunately, it doesn't have to come to that. If the phrase “Get out of your comfort zone” is not just lip service for you, but a philosophy that guides all your thoughts and actions. When you fall in love with the unknown every single day. 
 
When you enjoy the butterflies in your stomach when you think about the possibilities of the future. When you stop sitting on your comfy couch hoping that your situation will somehow improve and instead take action. When you go out into life and start pursuing your goals and dreams with passion. Woody Allen once aptly stated that the 80% of the Success is to just show up. So show up as often as possible. The more you give in to your desire for new impressions, experiences and stimuli in your life, the greater the likelihood that you will achieve extraordinary things.
 

Longing for new horizons as the key to change

Just imagine what would have happened if people like Marco Polo, Roald Amundsen or Christopher Columbus had not followed their spirit of discovery, but had waited in a safe harbor for a guarantee that they would definitely reach their destinations. They would never have reached China, the South Pole or America. The same applies to the invention of the light bulb, the printing press or the iPhone, all of which changed the world. Because Thomas Edison, Johannes Gutenberg and Steve Jobs shared the longing for innovation, for new paths and the permanent questioning of existing conventions. And they did not rest on their laurels, but rather maintained a willingness to constantly question their own achievements.
 
The longing for new horizons as a success factor is therefore so essential, because today's exceptional is tomorrow's good and the mediocre the day after tomorrow. I remember exactly how I thought in 2008 that with the iPhone 3G I was holding such a brilliant product in my hands that it couldn't get any better. How wrong you can be, because when I compare it with the current model, the iPhone 15 Pro Max, it seems to me like a smartphone from the Stone Age. It's similar with us humans, because we are like plants in this respect. If we can't grow, we don't stop at the current stage of development, we die. Not overnight, of course, but gradually. 
 
And this process is much more insidious. It's like the famous parable of the frog. If you try to put it in a pot of boiling water, it jumps out immediately. If, on the other hand, you put it in cold water and heat it only gradually, it will not notice the increase in temperature. Until at some point it is too late. Even if this metaphor is a myth, the statement behind it is true for many people. Because if you don't regularly expose yourself to new stimuli, challenging experiences and unknown situations, your personal comfort zone will become increasingly cozy over time and dullness, mediocrity and arbitrariness will spread.

Beyond the comfort zone: the 4-zone model of change

But what actually happens as soon as you give in to the longing for Shift give in and dare to embrace uncertainty? You will gradually move through a process that will take you through four different zones and reward you with personal growth at the end. The following illustration provides an overview.
 
The 4-zone model of change

 

Out of the comfort zone: Phase 1 - The comfort zone

We all know this zone. Here, everything is known, familiar and, above all, very comfortable. You do what you always do, avoid any risks and have everything under control at all times. Routines and standard procedures characterize everyday life and most behaviors run on autopilot mode. However, the absence of any challenges creates a major problem. No growth takes place in the comfort zone, as you only fall back on known and proven methods. 
 
Life in the comfort zone is not particularly exciting, but the lack of variety is compensated for by a pronounced feel-good factor. In the short term, there is nothing wrong with this at all. But if you don't just want to function and live as you please, then you have to grow in the long term. Because growth is a basic human need and the basis for a life characterized by meaning, satisfaction and fulfillment. Here is a great idea that I wish you would never forget:
 
Your quality of life depends on the amount of growth you can live comfortably with in the long term.
 
True life always begins outside your comfort zone. As soon as you dare to overcome your limits, head for new horizons and set sail on a stormy voyage. But before you can reap the rewards of this courageous step, there is unfortunately another zone waiting for you that most people fail to reach.
 

Out of the comfort zone: Phase 2 - The fear zone

Beyond the comfort zone, the unknown lurks. The fear zone begins, and the crocodile brain (you can find out exactly what it is in my book “The mindset revolution” in detail) tries with all its might to persuade you to turn back. Because you are suddenly exposed to new situations that you have never experienced before, you start to doubt, look for excuses and would prefer to give up immediately. 
 
No wonder, because so much can go wrong, won't work the first time and a familiar inner voice will constantly remind you how little self-confidence you have in this zone. You will often feel overwhelmed because so many new impressions are coming at you. Your most important task is therefore to resist the temptations of the resistance triggered by the crocodile brain and instead consciously take the path of small steps. To embrace uncertainty and transform it into personal growth. And to repeat this as often as necessary until the first signs of success appear.
 

Out of the comfort zone: Phase 3 - The learning zone

As soon as this happens, you are in the learning zone. Here too, most things are still new, while the old rules no longer apply. However, your curiosity is already so pronounced that your problem-solving skills are gradually increasing, which in turn boosts your self-confidence. Through the sum of the many small successes, you have set in motion a self-reinforcing positive spiral that enables you to acquire new knowledge, new skills and new abilities. 
 
New opportunities and possibilities suddenly seem to appear of their own accord, opening up further opportunities for you to try out your newly acquired skills straight away. Of course, not everything always works immediately in the learning zone and you have to take most of the steps very consciously, but the more often you face up to the challenges, the sooner you will make the transition to the decisive final phase.
 

Out of the comfort zone: Phase 4 - The growth zone

Change is most fun when it is accompanied by purpose, fulfillment and, in particular, balance. And this is exactly what happens in the growth zone. Your self-confidence has now increased enormously, so that you dare to do things that you would never have dared to dream of before. Full of joy and ease, you throw yourself into solving problems, try out new ideas immediately and develop into a role model for those around you. Your new abilities, skills and characteristics have now become second nature to you and help you to achieve your goals and dreams as unconscious automatisms.
 
But something else, much more important, happens as soon as you start to spend a lot of your time in the growth zone. Almost as if by magic, the boundaries of both your comfort zone and your fear zone shift. On the one hand, the comfort zone expands. No wonder, because what seemed completely unthinkable and beyond known rules and standards some time ago has now become a lived reality. 
 
At the same time, the fear zone is also shrinking, because many situations in which you would have reacted with trembling knees and a pounding heart in the past have now become a perfect opportunity for you to grow as a person and gain new experiences. Will the doubt, uncertainty and fear ever disappear completely? Of course not. And that's a good thing, as they are the perfect indicator that you are about to do something extraordinary. Or in other words:
 
The changes you are most afraid of are the ones that bring the biggest breakthroughs for you.
 

Out of the comfort zone - into change

 
Dear readers, I very much hope that I have succeeded in triggering your longing for new ideas, new paths and new behaviors with this article. That I was able to make you want to renounce the comfort of the status quo and fall in love with the unknown. That it has become natural for you to regularly leave your comfort zone. It is very worthwhile not only to understand the 4-zone model of change, but to internalize it.
 
Because the more you grow as a person, the greater the degree of fulfillment, meaning and satisfaction. Always remember: your quality of life depends on the amount of growth you can live comfortably with in the long term. But before you rush straight off, a quick tip, because of course the right balance is also important here.
 
Why? Not everything that is new is automatically good. And not everything that is old is automatically bad. Dealing with necessary changes in a balanced way is therefore a bit like the famous ride on the razor's edge or the tightrope act in the circus. Only if you find the right balance between old and new will you be able to enjoy the wonderful effects of the growth zone. 
 
On the one hand, this means appreciating what has proven its worth. What is good. What you consciously want to preserve. And on the other hand, you should always be prepared to regularly question processes, conditions and especially yourself. And then radically change them. In this way, you get that magical cocktail of tradition and modernity, of preservation and daring, and of firm and stable Values and flexible behavior.

Preventing and breaking through unconscious self-sabotage

Posted on by Mariana-A
Kennen Sie den größten Feind des Success? Es ist die unbewusste Selbstsabotage, mit der wir alle mehr oder weniger intensiv zu kämpfen haben. Sie tritt immer dann auf, wenn unsere unbewussten Muster im Gegensatz zu den bewussten Zielen und Vorhaben stehen. In diesem Artikel wollen wir uns anschauen, wie die unbewusste Selbstsabotage entsteht und natürlich auch, wie man sie duchbricht.
 

Unbewusste Botschaften prägen das Mindset

Ich war nie ein guter Schüler. Spätestens ab der 8. Klasse habe ich mich mehr oder weniger durgewurschtelt. Und hätte ich nicht einige Paradefächer gehabt, so hätte mir mein komplettes Desinteresse an Mathe, Physik und Chemie wohl notentechnisch das Genick gebrochen. Aber erst heute, viele Jahre und eine große Portion Lebenserfahrung später weiß ich, warum die Schule und ich nie beste Freunde wurden. Es lag an der Struktur, den Zielen und den Botschaften, die mir bewusst oder unbewusst über meine gesamte Kindheit eingetrichtert wurden. 
 
Vielleicht kommen Ihnen einige davon ja bekannt vor: Sitz still. Bereite Dich gut auf die nächste Prüfung vor. Pass Dich an. Mach Deine Hausaufgaben. Hinterfrage nicht. Befolge die Anweisungen der Lehrer. Lerne auswendig. Schreib in Deinem Heft nicht über den Rand. Mach nicht mehr als nötig. Regeln sind wichtiger als Kreativität. Halte Dich im Hintergrund. Das Kollektiv ist wichtiger als der Einzelne. Vermeide Risiken. Tue das, was alle tun. Schlag Dir die Träumereien aus dem Kopf. Tu das, was alle tun. Und last but not least natürlich der bekannte Klassiker Gute Noten sind wichtiger als etwas zu verstehen.
 

Wertschätzung versus Versagerbotschaften

Das Ergebnis? Das Schulsystem hat meine Kreativität und meinen Entdeckergeist gekillt. Und weil auch heute immer noch die Methoden aus den 1980er Jahren Bestand haben, sind Millionen von Kindern zwar echte Experten im Auswendiglernen und Bestehen von Klausuren, verfügen jedoch über so gut wie keine Problemlösungskompetenz. Natürlich ist dies nicht die Schuld der Lehrer, denn viele Lehrkräfte sind super engagiert und richtig toll. Leider haben sie mit genau den gleichen Hindernissen zu kämpfen, denn die Institution Schule mag keine kreativen Pädagogen. 
 
Stattdessen mag sie starre Lehrpläne. Fixe Strukturen. Und auf keinen Fall eine Abweichung von der Norm. Der Status Quo des Bildungssystems führt dann dazu, dass die einzige Fähigkeit, die unsere Kinder nach ihrem Abschluss perfekt beherrschen, „gut in der Schule sein“ ist. Doch welche Relevanz hat das Auswendiglernen von Fakten, die man innerhalb von wenigen Sekunden googeln könnte? Wie wichtig ist das Wiederkäuen von Antworten, welche die fragenden Lehrkräfte schon längst kennen? 
 
Richtig, im wahren Leben sind vollkommen andere Kompetenzen gefragt. Weder Astrid Lindgren, Elon Musk, Arianna Huffington oder irgendeine andere außergewöhnliche Persönlichkeit hat ihren Erfolg der Ausbildung an einer Schule zu verdanken. Denn wir leben schon lange nicht mehr in der Industriegesellschaft, wo Schulen vor allem konforme Arbeiter hervorbringen sollten, die dann fleißig und zuverlässig ihren Dienst an den Fließbändern der Fabriken absolvieren sollten. Gut in der Schule zu sein ist beim Aufbau eines StartUps, in der Guidance eines Unternehmens oder der Entwicklung von zukunftsorientierten Ideen leider genau so irrelevant wie wenn Sie eine absolute Expertin im Bowling wären.
 

Unbewusste Selbstsabotage verhindern: Das Mindset ist der Schlüssel

Auch im Studium wird es nicht etwa besser. Die Themen und Inhalte mögen zwar komplexer sein, aber trotzdem geht es in erster Linie immer noch um das Auswendiglernen von prüfungsrelevanten Informationen. Die praktische Anwendung des Wissens in unterschiedlichen Kontexten spielt hingegen so gut wie keine Rolle. Es war ein prägender Moment in meinem Leben, als ich direkt nach meinem Uni-Abschluss zum ersten Mal eine neue Perspektive eingenommen habe. Weil ich begriff, dass mir die Prägungen, Botschaften und Suggestionen des Bildungssystems für meine Zukunft nur im Wege stehen würden. 
 
Und ehe ich mich versah, stand ich vor der wohl schwierigsten Shift of my life so far. I had to learn to unlearn everything I had grown up with. What had been drilled into me at school for years. I had to discard the messages from the past and redefine who I wanted to be. What I believe in. And which Mindset should drive me. There is a direct connection between the results in our lives and our current mindset, which you can imagine as follows.
 
Mindset Modell deutsch
 
However the Mindset aussieht, mit dem Sie zurzeit durchs Leben gehen, es ist die einzigartige Kombination Ihrer Identität, Ihren wichtigsten Values und Ihren tiefsten Beliefs. Diese besondere Mischung bestimmt nicht nur Ihre generelle Weltsicht, sondern auch Ihre Fähigkeiten, Ihr Verhalten, Ihre Entscheidungsstrategien und am Ende des Tages eben auch Ihre Ergebnisse. Oder kurz und knackig auf den Punkt gebracht:
 
Your behavior is always a direct reflection of your mindset.
 

Ihr Mindset beeinflusst das gesamte Leben. Immer. Überall.

Sie können sich auf intellektueller Ebene noch so sehr wünschen, eine erfolgreiche Unternehmerin zu sein, finanzielle Freiheit zu erlangen oder endlich den Partner fürs Leben zu finden. Wenn Ihr Mindset auf einer diesen Träumen entgegengesetzten Identity und damit einhergehenden Glaubenssätzen basiert, dann werden Sie alles dafür tun, dass die Realität sich Ihren Überzeugungen angleicht. Dies liegt an einem universellen Zusammenhang, wenn es um Veränderungen im Leben geht.
 
The more a behavior attacks our current mindset, the more we will unconsciously do everything we can to postpone or even completely prevent this behavior.
 
Please note that this process takes place completely unconsciously, even if you are rationally guided by your Targets are convinced. Nevertheless, people are true artists at unconsciously sabotaging all these consciously expressed intentions in order to preserve their own identity and the convictions that go with it.
 

Glaubenssätze als Quelle für unbewusste Selbstsabotage

Statt Überzeugungen können Sie gerne auch Glaubenssätze oder Beliefs sagen. Gemeint sind damit die vermeintlichen Fakten und Zusammenhänge, von denen Sie glauben, dass sie wahr sind, sowie die generellen Prinzipien, wie das Leben funktioniert, was alles möglich ist oder wer Sie als Persönlichkeit sind bzw. sein könnten. Ein paar Beispiele gefällig? 
 
Hier kommt eine unvollständige Auswahl von ein paar Klassikern:
 
  • Schuster bleib bei Deinen Leisten.
  • Ich bin nicht gut genug.
  • Geld verdirbt den Charakter.
  • Rechne lieber mit dem Schlechtesten, dann wirst Du nicht enttäuscht.
  • Erst die Arbeit, dann das Vergnügen.
  • Das Leben ist kein Zuckerschlecken.
  • Die Menschheit wird immer schlechter.
  • Ich ziehe den Misserfolg magisch an.
  • Das geht nicht so einfach.
  • Um Erfolg zu haben, muss man die Ellenbogen ausfahren.
  • Ich bin an allem schuld.
  • Dafür fehlt mir die Zeit.
  • Das mag bei anderen klappen, bei mir ist das anders.
  • Or my absolute favorite: change has to be hard for it to work.
 
Ich bin mir sicher, dass Sie beim Lesen direkt noch weitere Beispiele im Kopf hatten, nicht wahr? Dann lassen Sie uns jetzt zum wohl wichtigsten Charakteristikum von Glaubenssätzen kommen. Diese entstehen nämlich nicht aus dem Nichts und sind auf einmal da. Ganz im Gegenteil. Glaubenssätze kommen immer von Außen. Kennen Sie ein Baby, das als Rassist geboren wurde? Kennen Sie einen kleinen Jungen, der mit diskriminierenden Vorurteilen durchs Leben geht? Oder kennen Sie ein Mädchen, dass ihre ausländische Freundin im Kindergarten ausgrenzt, weil sie davon überzeugt ist, dass diese ihr später mal den Job wegnehmen wird? 
 
Sehen Sie, ich auch nicht. Sämtliche Überzeugungen (die positiven wie die negativen) lernen wir erst im Laufe der Zeit von wichtigen Bezugspersonen aus unserem sozialen Umfeld. Ob wir es wollen oder nicht, wir übernehmen die Weltsicht unserer Eltern, Verwandten und später unserer Lehrer. Anfangs sind diese Glaubenssätze noch ganz klein und zart. Aber je mehr wir diese bestätigt sehen, desto mehr verfestigen sich diese. Bis sie irgendwann tief in unserem Unterbewusstsein verankert sind, und dort zuverlässig ihre Wirkung entfalten.
 

Die Summe der Glaubenssätze beeinflusst das Mindset

By the time we are teenagers at the latest, we have developed a mindset that serves as a compass for our lives. We have learned what is good and what is bad. What to do and what not to do. What place fate has assigned us and what our future will look like. And since the mass of messages we have been bombarded with has tended to be negative, the mass of our beliefs is correspondingly limiting. The result: despite our best intentions, we sabotage ourselves and struggle with the constant feeling that we are running into a glass wall. Because our behavior is always a reflection of our mindset. And what is even more insidious is that we are completely unaware of all this.
 
„Okay Ilja, wenn mein Mindset ganz automatisch meine Fähigkeiten, mein Verhalten und meine Entscheidungen beeinflusst, dann muss ich ja eigentlich nur mein Mindset positiv verändern und schon führen mich meine unbewussten Programme wie von selbst näher an meine Ziele und Träume, oder?“ Gut, dass Sie fragen. Meine Antwort kommt im Radio Eriwan Stil und lautet: Im Prinzip ja. Denn die große Herausforderung lauert im unscheinbaren Wort eigentlich. Es funktioniert nicht per Fingerschnipp und braucht eine gewisse Zeit. Wie Sie in der Abbildung erkennen können, ist die einzige Möglichkeit, Ihr Mindset dauerhaft durch Ihre Gedanken, Ihre Entscheidungen und Ihr Verhalten zu verändern nämlich bewusstes Lernen. 
 

Unbewusste Selbstsabotage verhindern

Der grundsätzliche Prozess, um unbewusste Selbstsabotage zu verhindern, ist überraschend einfach. Es gilt, ein limitierendes Muster zu identifizieren und aus dem Unterbewusstsein an die bewusste Oberfläche zu befördern. Dort können wir es dann mit einer förderlichen Alternative ersetzen, und es wieder zu einem unbewussten Automatismus werden lassen, der dann seinen positiven Dienst für uns erledigt. Klingt erst einmal einfach, nicht wahr? Ist es auch. Wie so häufig steht das Wort einfach aber vor allem für nicht kompliziert und nicht für leicht. Denn unbewusste Muster können extrem hartnäckig sein und es braucht eine große Portion Disziplin, Commitment und Durchhaltevermögen, um eine negative Gewohnheit in eine positive zu transformieren.
 
Of course, I know that these values don't sound particularly sexy in times when everyone just wants to live in the moment and have all their needs met immediately. But not only is it worthwhile, it can also be a lot of fun. If you look at the illustration, you can see the 4-step process at a glance.
 
glaubenssätze auflösen
 
 

Unbewusste Selbstsabotage: Das Wenn-Dann-Schema

Bevor wir uns die einzelnen Stufen anschauen, ist es wichtig, dass wir uns noch einmal detailliert das Prinzip von unbewussten Automatismen anschauen. Diese funktionieren nämlich immer gleich. Stellen Sie sich dazu vor, dass Sie ein Computerprogramm schreiben, dem folgender Algorithmus zugrunde liegt: Immer, wenn X passiert, dann reagiere mit Y. Ein klassisches Reiz-Reaktions-Schema. Im Kontext menschlichen Verhaltens ist X ein bestimmter Trigger, der eine emotionale Reaktion hervorruft, uns an eine bestimmte Erfahrung erinnert oder einen Zustand auslöst. Als Trigger können dabei Bilder, Wörter, Geräusche, Gerüche, Geschmäcker oder Tonfälle dienen. Wird ein solcher Trigger ausgelöst, spult unser Unterbewusstsein automatisch das gelernte Programm ab. Hier einige konkrete Beispiele:
 
  • Sie nehmen den Duft von frischem Kuchen wahr, und erinnern sich sofort an eine schöne Situation aus Ihrer Kindheit.
  • Ihr Lebenspartner reagiert auf einen Vorschlag mit einem typischen Gesichtsausdruck, und Sie fühlen sich automatisch unsicher.
  • Sie hören Ihr Lieblingslied im Auto und sind wie von selbst motiviert.
  • Sie blicken auf Ihr überfülltes Emailpostfach und beginnen sofort damit, sich mit sinnlosem Surfen auf Social Media abzulenken.
  • Ihr Chef gibt benutzt einen bestimmen Tonfall und Sie fühlen sich unsicher.
  • Vor einer Präsentation blicken Sie in die Gesichter Ihrer Zuhörer und Ihr Herz fängt an, schneller zu schlagen.
  • You're driving down the highway hungry and spot the glowing M of a large fast food chain. Although you want to eat healthily, you pull off at the exit and order a double cheeseburger with fries and a milkshake (you know, I got this example from a friend)
 

Lernen, zu verlernen in vier Stufen

In each of these examples, the respective trigger ensures that an automatic program is unwound. Your subconscious doesn't care whether it's something positive or negative. Only one thing is important: when X happens, it reacts with Y. This leads to a crucial insight. If we are dissatisfied with Y, then we have to start with X.
 

Stufe 1: Bewusstheit

Jeden Tag läuft Ihr Unterbewusstsein auf Hochtouren. Sie denken, entscheiden und handeln. Das Problem dabei: Das Ganze läuft so automatisiert ab, dass es für Sie so normal geworden ist, dass Sie es gar nicht mehr mitbekommen. Das Ziel dieses Schritts ist es, diesen unbewussten Loop zu durchtrennen, und unbewusste Muster an die bewusste Oberfläche zu holen. Gehen Sie hierfür mit einem hohen Grad an Achtsamkeit durchs Leben. Nehmen Sie wahr, welche Trigger bei Ihnen welches Verhalten auslösen. Welche Gedanken Sie in welchen Situationen denken. Welche Strategie Ihre Decisions determined. And which patterns you can recognize in your behaviour. At first, this will seem like an almost impossible task. No wonder, because where your everyday life was on autopilot not long ago, you are now taking the wheel into your own hands. But mindfulness can also be trained. And the more consciously you become of the many processes that were previously completely unconscious, the easier step two will be for you.
 

Stufe 2: Verlernen

Je achtsamer Sie durchs Leben gehen, desto mehr unbewusste Muster werden Sie wahrnehmen, die für Sie eher limitierend als förderlich sind. Wählen Sie sich nun eines dieser Muster aus, das Sie gerne verändern möchten. Achten Sie für einige Tage ganz genau drauf, welche Strategien hinter dem Verhalten stecken. Wie genau läuft das Muster ab? Was genau tun Sie und in welcher Reihenfolge tun Sie es? Welche Sinne sind involviert? Und am allerwichtigsten: Durch welchen Trigger wird das Verhalten ausgelöst? Denn es gilt das gelernte Programm „Wenn X passiert, dann reagiere mit Y“ so bewusst wie möglich zu unterbrechen und im nächsten Schritt umzuprogrammieren.
 

Stufe 3: Lernen

Nun ist es Zeit für eine Entscheidung. Welches alternative Verhalten möchten Sie anstelle des alten als unbewussten Automatismus etablieren? Es reicht leider nicht, wenn Sie sich nur von einer negativen Gewohnheit verabschieden. Ohne positive Alternative ist dieser Versuch zum Scheitern verurteilt. Warum? Weil nach der Verbannung des Verhaltens zunächst ein Vakuum entsteht. Immer wenn der Trigger X ausgelöst wird, sucht das „Programm“ verzweifelt nach der gewohnten Reaktion Y. Bieten Sie an dieser Stelle keine Alternative an, so wird nach kurzer Zeit wieder auf das alte Verhalten zurückgegriffen. Es ist nicht ausreichend, nur zu entscheiden, dass Sie bspw. kein Fastfood mehr essen wollen, Sie benötigen auch die entsprechende neue Wahlmöglichkeit. Der Algorithmus könnte dann so aussehen: „Immer, wenn ich das leuchtende M an der Autobahn entdecke, atme ich tief durch, trinke einen Schluck Wasser und genieße einen Proteinriegel.
 

Stufe 4: Gewohnheit

Abschließend gilt es nun, aus der gewählten Shift einen neuen – und förderlichen – Automatismus zu machen. Je bewusster Sie den Trigger mit dem neuen Verhalten verbinden, desto erfolgreicher wird die Transformation verlaufen. Wie James Clear in seinem Bestseller Atomic Habits beschreibt, dauert es im Schnitt 66 Tage, um eine neue Gewohnheit zu etablieren. Warum also nicht ein Projekt starten, dass genau so lange dauert? Wichtig sind dabei zwei Faktoren. Erstens, das bewusste Einbauen des neuen Verhaltens in Ihren Alltag. Und zweitens die Regelmäßigkeit. Denn je häufiger das neue Programm abgespult wird, desto eher hat es die Chance, wieder ins Unterbewusstsein zu sinken, und von dann an dort als Automatismus seine positive Wirkung zu erzielen.
 

In diesen Bereichen lauert die unbewusste Selbstsabotage

Auf diese Weise haben Sie eine wundervolle Methode an der Hand, limitierende Muster zu verlernen, neue Gewohnheiten zu etablieren und so schrittweise Ihre persönlichen Eisberge zu durchbrechen. Sie benötigen noch etwas Inspiration, in welchen Bereichen es sich lohnt, zu lernen, wie man unbewusste Automatismen verlernt? Here we go:
 
  • Limiting beliefs
  • Poor decision-making strategies
  • Negative thought patterns
  • Unnecessary assumptions
  • Impulsive behavior
  • Emotional reactions
  • Unfounded prejudices
  • The tendency to look for excuses as to why something doesn't work
  • The focus on problems
  • Excessive doubting
  • The tendency to justify oneself
  • The urge for perfectionism
  • The stories you tell yourself every day
 
Ich wünsche Ihnen gleichsam Freude und Erfolg beim Entdecken und Durchbrechen Ihrer unbewussten Selbstsabotage Muster. Doch achten Sie darauf, dass Sie nicht zu viel auf einmal wollen. Ein Automatismus zurzeit ist nicht nur mehr als ausreichend, sondern Sie erhöhen auch die Wahrscheinlichkeit einer nachhaltigen Veränderung.
 

Self-determination is the new security

Posted on by Mariana-A
Self-determination is a Value, which is no longer considered particularly sexy or desirable in this day and age. The masses have become too accustomed to a world in which other people, organizations and authorities plan, manage and control their entire lives. But placing one's own future in the hands of others is not an option in the VUKA World is completely the wrong approach. Instead, self-determination is becoming the new security. And let's take a closer look at exactly why this is the case.
 

Self-determined living: Be like water, my friend

In my experience, people can be divided into two general categories. They are either team sea or team mountains. What about you, have you ever asked yourself whether your heart feels most at home on the summit of a majestic mountain or on the endless beach of a rough ocean? I myself don't have to hesitate for a second to answer that question. I am Team Sea. 
 
Maybe it's because, as a child, I used to sit on the stones in my home town of Travemünde (a district of the Hanseatic city of Lübeck) like Tony Buddenbrook (every famous scene from the novel „The Buddenbrooks“ by Thomas Mann (who, like me, was also born in Lübeck), and impressed by the vastness of the horizon, I dreamed of faraway countries and traveling by boat. Even though I love the breathtaking scenery of the mountains, nowhere do I feel as free as by the sea. 
 
I could gaze at the crashing waves for hours while the unique salty smell fills my nose and the screeching of seagulls fills my ears. And every time I find myself by an ocean anywhere in the world, I can't help but think of what is probably the most famous quote in the world. of the martial artist and actor Bruce Lee (You can watch the interview with Bruce Lee here as video view):
 
“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” 
 
My German translation is as follows: “Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. If you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup. If you put water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. If you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can flow or destroy. Be like water, my friend.”
 

Self-determination as a response to fear and uncertainty

Of course, this metaphor was primarily intended for use in martial arts. If you don't confront your opponent with a rigid strategy, but can adapt flexibly, then the chances of success are much higher. And perfection is achieved when you are like water. Because you simply cannot grasp this element. At the same time, however, it is also able to make its way through impenetrable terrain and defeat seemingly overpowering opponents.
 
Over the last few months, I've been thinking about Bruce Lee and his metaphor of water almost every day. The world has changed massively, and not just since the global pandemic. Many people's everyday lives are characterized by a gnawing fear of the future, priorities have shifted and the vast majority of the population shares the increasingly intense feeling of being hopelessly at the mercy of the whims of fate.
 
And as is the case with drastic Changes As is the case nowadays, we try to overcome this uncertainty by clinging to familiar things, by organizing our everyday lives around routines and by taking as few risks as possible. As absurd as it may sound, the more uncertain the external circumstances are, the more important a feeling of inner security becomes for us.
 

Security is the result of self-determination

But where can this security still be found today? A job as a civil servant in the administration? Of course, you get your salary paid into your account on time every month for the rest of your life. But at what price, when your days are characterized by a lack of creativity, monotony and the often pointless processing of forms? Even the supposedly secure career in a large company only exists in theory. The transformation from an industrial to a knowledge-based society will result in millions of jobs being lost in the future, more and more jobs are being cut on a massive scale in almost all sectors and the coronavirus crisis has accelerated the wave of insolvencies.
 
And even if you manage to make a career as an employee in a future-oriented industry, the organizational constraints, the stress caused by increasing pressure to perform and the almost non-existent work-life balance are the main reasons why more and more people are asking themselves the question:
 
„Should that be it now? Am I supposed to drive to the gray open-plan office every day for the next thirty years to do a job that doesn't fulfill me, often frustrates me and hasn't been fun for a long time?“
 
Believe me, dear readers, I know these thoughts only too well, because they used to run through my head in a kind of continuous loop. And I would probably have drowned in the negative spiral of hopelessness and frustration if I hadn't listened to the biography of one of my childhood idols as an audio book in the car. I'm talking about John Michael Osbourne, the singer of the legendary hard rock band Black Sabbath, who you may only know by his nickname Ozzy.
 

What you can learn from Ozzy Osbourne about self-determination

He grew up in poor circumstances in Birmingham in the 1950s and decided as a teenager to train as a skilled worker. To become a car horn tuner. Doesn't sound particularly sexy, does it? Ozzy explained his decision as follows: „Back then they thought you take what little education you can get hold of. Then you learn a trade and get a shitty job that you're really proud of, even though it's a shitty job. And then you do this shitty job for the rest of your life. This shitty job simply means everything to you.“
 
And so it was that the future international star began to learn the art of car horn tuning. If you're thinking: „Art? That sounds like a very dull activity“, then you are absolutely right. Because the young Ozzy's daily routine looked like this.
 
He sat at the assembly line and grabbed a horn. Tuned it with the screwdriver. Tested the sound. The next horn followed. The same action with the screwdriver. Tune it again and test the sound. Then the next horn. And the next one. Again and again. Grip. Tuning. Testing. All day long. The work was so frustrating, loud and monotonous that he feared he would go mad.
 
So he asked the colleague next to him, an older gentleman with a bald head and huge dark circles under his eyes: „Tell me Jimmy, how long have you actually been here?“ To which he replied: „Twenty-nine years and seven months. And you know what the best part is? In five months, I'll have been here exactly thirty years. Then I'll retire and get my gold watch from the company.“
 
At that moment, the future multimillionaire had the following thought in his head: „I'd rather the Russians drop a bomb on the factory before I have to spend thirty years in this room.“ And he said: „Listen, Jimmy, if you really wanted a gold watch, you should have stolen one from the jeweler in the pedestrian zone. Even if they'd caught you, you'd only have done a tenth of the time you've spent in this hole.
 
And that would undoubtedly have been the better choice.“ He then left his job without a word and made the decision to swap frustration for a self-determined life. To do what really fulfilled him and what he had been dreaming of for years. And that dream was music.
 
Together with his childhood friends Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler and Bill Ward, he founded the band Black Sabbath and made his mark on music history with hits such as Iron Man, Paranoid and War Pigs. If you ask the superstar today what has driven him the most during his long career, Ozzy Osbourne likes to say that the memory of the gold watch has saved him more than once.
 
Whenever he doubted whether he was still on the right path, whenever there were crises and setbacks, the huge image of a gold watch appeared in his mind's eye and suddenly reminded him of the conditions in the car horn factory and how his life might have turned out if he had not made the choice to take the path of self-determination.

Live independently and enjoy freedom

This is just one example of countless others where the Decision against traditionally prescribed paths and for a self-reliant life began with the following realization:
 
„There must be more to it than paying bills, working for an anonymous organization and counting down the days until retirement.“
 
Ever heard of it? Perhaps often thought of it yourself? I certainly hope so, because life really does have so much more to offer than a dull 9 to 5 job, having to endure a monotonous office routine and carrying out pointless instructions. If you take it by the horns and don't rely on others to make the right decisions for you. It may seem counter-indicative at first glance, but traditional employment models will be associated with maximum uncertainty in the future. 
 
Because you are dependent on other people for every external change. And as harsh as it may sound, they unfortunately don't care about you at all.
 
It doesn't matter whether they are politicians, managers of large corporations, civil servants in various administrations, company superiors or state bureaucrats, they are all solely concerned with maintaining their own vested interests, their own power and their own status. And to achieve this, they only pursue their own goals. And these are further removed from their own than HSV is from the next German championship.
 

The old rules no longer apply

If you need to reach these external Goals are labeled as no longer good enough, you will be dropped like a hot potato. It doesn't matter how good, hard-working or loyal you were in the past. You can't imagine how many people I know who have worked for a company with passion and dedication for decades and have been thrown out the door overnight. Without a single thank you. Without appreciation. Without any recognition of their previous achievements. A quick handshake, maybe a bouquet of flowers to keep up appearances and then that's it. In many organizations, people are unfortunately just a cost center that is cut immediately and with mathematical precision at the slightest pressure.
 
And if you think that this could never happen to you, just take a look at the industries that are in the process of shrinking back to health: banks, car manufacturers and their suppliers, retailers and traditional media companies are just a few of many prominent examples. And since the exclusive focus on cost savings has never led to corresponding results, the end of the trend is still a long way off.
 
Many a well-known group was only able to survive thanks to massive support from the taxpayer, while well-known brands such as Galeria Karstadt Kaufhof, Vapiano, Esprit and the Adler fashion chain had to file for insolvency. Too big to fail is long gone. Today more than ever, the leaner and more adaptable a company is, the greater its chances of success in the future.
 

Flexibility as the key to dealing with an uncertain future

The more uncertain times become, the more important self-determination becomes. The more important it becomes to shape your own life, to be able to react to changing conditions with maximum flexibility and to take responsibility. For your own goals. For your own dreams. For your own life. Of course, there are also a lot of imponderables here, things that you cannot influence and hurdles that need to be overcome.
 
But at the same time, you have full control over your vision, your goals, your decisions and what you do or don't want to do every single day. And isn't that the true definition of Freedom? It doesn't mean that you can (finally) do what you want. Rather, it's the liberating feeling of no longer having to do what you don't want to do.
 

Self-determination is the new security: a conclusion

And with this thought, the circle of this article closes, because in order to break through the old thought patterns of „be diligent at school, get a good job and then enjoy life after retirement“, „the company and the state will take care of you“ and „there are no alternatives to a career as an employee“ and replace them with a future-oriented, independent way of life, we have to be like water.
 
In the best Bruce Lee sense, we should not hope that the stone lying in our way will disappear by itself, be removed by managers from the carpeted floor or be moved by an authority, but become active ourselves. To pave a path around the stone, through it or over it. Or perhaps to look for a completely new river.
 
In our case, we can of course replace the metaphor of water with the word self-determination. Those who think for themselves become the solution. Those who make self-determined decisions create opportunities. Those who live self-determined lives create a future according to their own ideas.
 
And it is precisely for this reason that self-determination will become the new security in the coming years. A newfound freedom that motivates us from deep within. To an independence that gives us a lifestyle based on a very special mix of gratitude, purpose and fulfillment. And there is a way of organizing life and work that combines all of this in a unique form: self-employment as a working model that minimizes dependence on external factors (which are difficult or impossible to influence) and focuses on self-determination.
 
Are you already self-employed? Or are you planning to start one? Then please post the link to your homepage in the comments.

Dissolve beliefs in 7 steps

Posted on by Mariana-A
What are beliefs? I am currently confronted with this question quite often. No wonder, since word has gotten around that our inner beliefs have a direct influence on our thoughts, our Decisions and our behavior. One of the most important skills in the area of personal development is therefore being able to dissolve negative beliefs. This is mainly due to the fact that our behavior is a direct result of our conscious and unconscious beliefs. These inner beliefs can influence us both positively (activating) and negatively (limiting) and therefore play a decisive role in how happy, satisfied and successful we are in life.
 
In this article, I would therefore like to take an in-depth look at the question “What are beliefs?” and, of course, answer it as comprehensively as possible. After we have looked at how they arise in the first place, what role they play and what examples there are, I will also give you a tried and tested guide at the end that will enable you to dissolve negative beliefs and transform them into positive ones. 
 

Definition of beliefs

Let's start with the definition: “Beliefs are views deeply rooted in the subconscious that we develop in the course of our lives and of which we are deeply and firmly convinced. These beliefs serve as the basis for our thoughts, actions and decisions. Beliefs come from various sources, such as our experiences, upbringing, culture, media or the social environment in which we grew up. They form the filters through which we view the world, influence our perception and interpretation of situations and thus the results of our behavior.”
 

7 characteristics of beliefs

After this brief definition of beliefs, let's now look at seven fundamental characteristics that all beliefs have in common. 
 

1) Beliefs always come from outside

No baby is born a racist, cynic or optimist. People only develop all beliefs in the course of childhood and adolescence, especially from important caregivers such as parents, relatives, teachers or people with whom they have an emotional relationship.
 

2) Beliefs work unconsciously

Our beliefs are deeply rooted in our subconscious and serve us faithfully in autopilot mode. More on why this is both good and dangerous later.

3) Beliefs determine our behavior

Beliefs act as a perception filter and therefore determine both our thinking and, above all, our decisions. You behave differently depending on how you see the world. 
 
4) Beliefs are reinforced over time
The more convinced you are of something, the more evidence you will find of it in everyday life. And the more evidence you find that your conviction is correct, the more it becomes firmly established. More details on this later.
 
5) Beliefs can be beneficial
Positive beliefs have an activating effect, direct your focus towards opportunities in life and ensure that you are able to develop your full potential.
 
6) Beliefs can be limiting
Negative beliefs have a limiting effect, focus on problems in life and (unconsciously) ensure that you sabotage yourself and do not achieve the success that you (consciously) want so much.
 
7) Beliefs can be changed
This is perhaps the most important quality of all. Because even if beliefs always work unconsciously, they can still be changed. I will tell you exactly how this works at the end of the article.
 

Negative beliefs examples

Negative beliefs can manifest themselves in different areas of our lives. Here are some examples of negative beliefs:
 
  1. „I'm not good enough.“
  2. „I don't deserve happiness.“
  3. „I am not worthy of being loved.“
  4. „Money is hard to earn.“
  5. „I can never change.“
 
A comprehensive (but by no means complete) overview can be found in the following graphic.
 
Negative beliefs examples

Positive beliefs examples

Positive beliefs, on the other hand, can help us to develop our full potential and lead a fulfilled life. Here are some examples of positive beliefs:
 
  1. „I have the ability to achieve anything I set my mind to.“
  2. „I am worthy of love and success.“
  3. „I am unique and valuable.“
  4. „I am financially successful and have enough for my needs.“
  5. „I have the power to change and grow myself.“
 
These positive beliefs can strengthen us, guide us towards our goals and create a positive Self-image build up.
 

How do beliefs arise?

But how do convictions arise in the first place? By no means by chance. Instead, they are the direct result of a wide variety of influences from your environment. They develop from the influences you are constantly exposed to. The information you consume, the people you surround yourself with and the places you move around in. To put it simply, you can imagine it like this: You pick up a belief in the form of an opinion, an idea or a prejudice and adopt it uncritically. 
 
And off you go. Suddenly you find „evidence“ everywhere in your everyday life that confirms your new conviction. And the more „evidence“ you find, the deeper the belief becomes embedded in your subconscious. Our core beliefs are mainly formed in childhood and adolescence, but even in adulthood this process follows exactly the same pattern. And before you know it, you believe deeply and firmly that Success is hard, money corrupts your character and other people are just waiting to rip you off. The firmer your conviction, the more you will notice these things in everyday life. And as a result, the conviction becomes stronger again. A classic spiral that you can either Targets or ensure that you permanently sabotage yourself.
 
To help you harness the full power of your own beliefs, let's take a critical look at the information, ideas and opinions you surround yourself with throughout the day. It is always the same programming that leads to people having a low self-image and ultimately not believing they can succeed at all. It is the same messages of failure that you have been exposed to since your earliest childhood and that have become a little more entrenched every day through regular repetition. 
 

Recognize beliefs

Negative beliefs lurk everywhere in everyday life and are reflected in the following patterns and behaviors: 
 
  • Excuses
  • Emotional reactions
  • Negative thoughts
  • Negative thought patterns
  • Assumptions
  • Doubts
  • Recurring patterns
  • Cultural myths
  • Urge for perfectionism
  • Justifications
  • Worries
  • Self-deception
  • Stereotypes
  • Self-optimization mania
  • Inner critic
  • All the stories we tell ourselves every day
 
Lurking in all these behaviors and patterns are deep-seated beliefs that, by filtering reality, decide what you actually do and how you react to certain things.
 

Sources of beliefs

Do you think it makes a difference whether you are reading a novel by Thomas Mann or Wife swap watch on RTL II? Do you spend your afternoon in a bookstore or in the arcade? Whether you attend a seminar for personal development or spend the weekend in front of the television? Destructive suggestions lurk everywhere in everyday life. In addition to your family, teachers and other important people, it is mainly politicians, the radio and, of course, television that bombard you with regular messages of failure and lack. The more often you are exposed to this programming, the more quickly limiting core beliefs such as „Money is the root of all evil“, „There are more important things than success“, „There is not enough for everyone“, „If you fly high, you will fall low“, „Nothing happens without moss“, or „Money spoils your character“ are formed over time. Ever heard that? Ever said it? It's worth taking a particularly critical approach here. Because if you hear these messages every day, you will soon be conditioned to believe them deeply and firmly. Your identity is consolidated.
  
This is where the name Richard Brodie comes into play. What, you've never heard of him? First of all, you should be more or less grateful to him. In his former life, Brodie was a software programmer at Microsoft and, in this capacity, the developer of the Word writing program. At some point, however, he decided to follow his calling and became a speaker and author (funny, that sounds kind of familiar). In his new role, he devoted himself to studying how external programming influences internal beliefs. As a result of his research, he wrote a book that I can warmly recommend to you. It bears the exciting title Virus of the Mind - The New Science of the Meme. 
 
Based on research into the „selfish gene“ by Richard Dawkins, Brodie describes how ideas settle in the brain and spread there in the same way as a flu virus does, for example. Two factors determine how strongly the information he calls „mind viruses“ take root in the brain. The first is regular repetition. Of course, the more often you have an idea in your head, the more familiar and real it becomes at some point. Then there is the emotional intensity. If an idea is presented in connection with love, sex, fear, children or food, the effect of the suggestion is multiplied many times over. To check this out, all you have to do is go to the nearest newsstand and buy the latest issue of Bild. It is full of examples of both of these phenomena. The combination of intensity and repetition then ensures that a thought virus spreads just as quickly as a typical flu epidemic does. The worst thing about it is that most ideas and opinions are now adopted and passed on without a single spark of personal thought. Newspapers copy each other. Friends tell each other about the latest discovery that came on TV, and modern chain letters are shared and spread indiscriminately on Facebook. And once an opinion or prejudice is in our heads, it doesn't want to get out any time soon.
 

Critical thinking as protection against negative suggestions

It has therefore never been more important to critical thinker to become. Otherwise, you are helplessly at the mercy of the external programming of advertising experts, television producers and radio presenters. I'm sure you've often heard the following suggestion: „Success corrupts your character and is only possible with elbow grease.“ You no longer really notice it because you have heard it so often. Nevertheless, the message works. A little more with every repetition. The only protection is to critically question the impact of such a message. But you are not always programmed directly. Often it is simply stereotypical but highly emotional images. Imagine you open the newspaper and see a harmless-looking cartoon in which a poor woman is being ripped off by a fat, greedy captain of industry. What message is unconsciously conveyed there? Right, the rich are fat, greedy and exploit poor (and of course honest) people at every opportunity.
 
The more often you accept such messages uncritically, the stronger their effect and the more they develop into core beliefs on which your view of the world and, above all, of yourself is based. These beliefs sit deep in your subconscious and spread there like the famous thought virus from the movie Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio, in which it is possible to infiltrate other people's dreams and place ideas there. The formerly external idea has become your internal reality. The sum of the core beliefs then inevitably leads to your unconscious autopilot not being geared towards success and abundance, but towards lack and mediocrity. And then you can still be convinced on a conscious level that you want to be successful. If your autopilot is programmed for the exact opposite, you will not achieve your goal. Einstein already knew that when the logical mind and the subconscious are in conflict, the subconscious mind always prevails. And please don't use this statement to follow the lead of the masses and completely abandon the mind. The ability to think critically, to make conscious decisions and to use the gigantic capacity of the brain is the greatest gift that nature has endowed you with.
 

Dissolve negative beliefs

But it's the unconscious that really gets to work. So it's time to reprogram your inner autopilot and set it up for abundance and success. Just as there is a self-reinforcing negative spiral, you can also start a success domino rally. Start by making a conscious decision for your own personal success. Be ready to receive it. And then implement the following eight steps to dissolve limiting restrictions and deficiency thinking and instead activate your huge potential that is just waiting to be awakened and used by you.
 

Dissolve limiting beliefs in 7 steps

 
  1. Identify a negative belief and ask yourself the following question: “How exactly do I know this?”
  2. Analyze as consciously as possible how exactly the belief makes itself felt in your everyday life. When does it appear, what triggers it and what behaviors are typical consequences?
  3. Ask yourself: “What would happen if I kept this belief?”
  4. When analyzing persuasion, use the following idea as a guide: “Only argue for the limitations that you want to keep.”
  5. Formulate a positive alternative to replace the negative belief.
  6. Consciously and consistently integrate the new, positive belief into your everyday life.
  7. Give yourself at least 66 days and make a Habit out of it.
 
These seven steps follow a recurring pattern of change: 
 
  • Bringing unconscious behavior to the surface
  • Change there
  • Use it consciously until it becomes a new unconscious habit
 

What are beliefs? A conclusion

Beliefs act unconsciously as a perception filter of reality and influence our thinking, our behavior and generally our quality of life in a decisive way. It is therefore worthwhile regularly checking your own beliefs and making appropriate changes. Changes to do. Of course, belief system work requires time, patience and commitment, but the positive effects are more than worth it.
 
I wish you every success in recognizing and dissolving your own personal beliefs. I very much hope that the ideas and impulses in this article will be a loyal companion to you.

Critical thinking as a success factor for change and transformation

Posted on by Mariana-A
I admit it, critical thinking has fallen into a bit of disrepute and is often equated these days with lateral thinkers, con-artists and “whatever-it's-about-I'm-just-basically-against-everything types”. But this form of anti-attitude has nothing whatsoever to do with critical thinking. What's more, if you make critical thinking an integral part of your everyday life, you will not only be able to deal better with any form of change, but also lead a more successful life overall. So it's time to take a closer look. Do you feel like it? Then let's get started.
 

Why is critical thinking important?

As an internationally active Keynote Speaker I have the great pleasure of being booked by my clients for conferences around the globe. Sounds sexy, doesn't it? And it is to a certain extent, but of course it also means that I spend a lot of time at airports and on board all kinds of airplanes, which admittedly isn't one of my favorite things to do. By the way, I love flying itself. It's the waiting and the increasing complexity of air travel that I don't like.
 
But I make the best of it and use the many hours in the air for a very important thing that often falls by the wayside in the otherwise often hectic everyday life. I enjoy the time for myself. I read an exciting thriller, watch a series on Netflix or think about life itself. No incoming emails, phone calls or other distractions can disturb me, and it's a bit like a spa for my soul. 
 
But when I look around me on my many flights, most people are mainly in „function mode“. They talk frantically into their cell phones, like to blurt out internal company information at an extremely high volume so that everyone around them knows exactly what the company's current problems are, open their laptops immediately after take-off and work on extensive Excel spreadsheets with a fascinating obsession. But why is that? Why do some people not even manage to relax a little on a 45-minute flight from Berlin to Frankfurt? 
 

Meaningfulness vs. mindless routines

On the one hand, I suspect that many a manager - and increasingly many a female manager - considers themselves too important and has succumbed to the fatal misconception that the company would not be able to manage without them for a single hour. The other reason, however, is even more widespread. People simply don't manage to break out of their usual routines and standard procedures. And of course, familiar routines are important because they give our job a certain stability and familiarity - just think of one of our most important human needs, safety. But if you are trapped in your own routines, this fundamentally positive quality can quickly turn negative. When procedures, processes and behaviors are no longer questioned, they tend to become absurd, ridiculous and stupid.
 
One decisive mantra therefore applies above all: The focus should ALWAYS be on the needs of your customers, never on internal processes. Haven't you ever been annoyed when employees of a company have completely lost sight of you as a customer and their behavior is oriented exclusively to internal company processes and requirements? In such cases, I always have to think of the ingenious book title of my esteemed colleague Edgar Geffroy, who summed it up so well with the title of a book: „The only thing that bothers us is the customer!“
 

Critical thinking: question the status quo

Especially when I think of visits to authorities or calls to hotlines of large corporations, I can think of hundreds of examples off the top of my head, but since we were just talking about air travel, let's stick with that. Have you ever asked yourself why the procedures on board are the way they are? Why does the crew really have to explain the safety instructions every time, even though nobody is listening anyway? Why should my little iPhone be able to disrupt the operation of a huge Airbus A380, but the other way round there are no problems? (By the way: If you want a good laugh, enter „Why can't you use phones on planes?“ in the YouTube search. Just great, and somehow sad at the same time). 
 
And every time I ask myself anew where the flight attendants learn their announcements. And by that I mean, of course, the mostly irrelevant content, but especially the form. Seriously, no normal person speaks in such an artificial manner and with such an obvious lack of interest. No wonder nobody listens. Incidentally, the same announcements from the cockpit fall into exactly the same category. For many years I have wondered who actually cares what altitude you are flying at, what the outside temperature is and where the wind is coming from at the destination airport. This information may be interesting for the captain and his co-pilot, but the passengers, i.e. the customers, are not interested at all.
 

The biggest killer argument of change

The answer, as in so many other areas of life, is that we have always done it this way. At some point, a process was set in motion that is now reliably carried out by everyone involved without anyone questioning it critically. The person performing the task brushes aside any question of meaning and undergoes a metamorphosis into a mindless worker bee. This leads to fatal behavior. People only think in terms of internal processes, rules and mechanisms, completely forgetting the needs of their own customers.
 
But fortunately there are more and more people who can no longer be fobbed off with the killer argument „We've always done it this way“. Critical thinkers, in other words, who think for themselves, question the status quo and then give meaning back to the soulless process. I recently flew home from Munich to Berlin late at night. And suddenly the unexpected happened. The pilot announced himself from the cockpit. 
 

Critical thinking as a characteristic of successful people

In a perfectly normal voice, he announced: „Dear guests, I would like to invite you to take a look out of the window. Even we pilots rarely experience a starry night like this. It is simply a wonderful view. At this moment, you can see almost all of Brandenburg. And our passengers on the left are particularly lucky, because the view as we fly towards Berlin is simply breathtaking. It fascinates me every time. I just wanted to let you know briefly. I hope you continue to have a good flight. Thank you for allowing my team and I to take you safely to your destination today.“
 
How often do you experience situations where you want to applaud spontaneously? Luckily, the man was standing in front of his cockpit when I got out, so I (and many other guests) could shake his hand and say thank you. Because even if it was only a few sentences, the departure from the mindless (and in my eyes pointless) routine meant that we experienced one of those magical moments that you remember fondly for a long time to come. And if you look closely, life is full of people like that. 
 

Learning to think critically: question everything

Unfortunately, however, we have become too accustomed to the fact that the masses prefer to act according to the rulebook and leave thinking to regulations and pointless rules. An important component of the Success is therefore critical thinking. An ability that has unfortunately become very rare because many people have become accustomed to the media, politics or anonymous committees telling them what is important, right or wrong. Please never succumb to this fatal convenience, but cultivate the art of critical thinking. And by that I don't mean that you should become one of those anti-people who are fundamentally against everything. No, critical thinking is above all the question of the Sense, relevance or customer orientation. My advice: question everything. Pointless processes, internal procedures and mindless routines. Question entrenched opinions, beliefs and prejudices, especially your own, of course.
 
Or in a nutshell: Question everything. Including this impulse that you should question everything.
 
Two things will happen as soon as you start to make a difference as a critical thinker: Firstly, you will receive a lot of headwind from those around you. No wonder, because you are suddenly questioning processes, routines and procedures that are considered to be universally valid. This is not always pleasant, but what would be the alternative? 
 
And something else will happen. You will notice a dramatic increase in fulfillment, satisfaction and meaning in your everyday life. Because you will only do things that really have a purpose and you will clearly reject all meaningless activities. To make this much easier for you in the future, I would like to introduce you to three specific tools that will help you cultivate critical thinking.
 

Critical thinking tool #1: Ask the question of meaning

The best guide we have in life is meaning. It gives an ordinary job meaning, a routine a raison d'être and our lives significance. Just as an aside: something can be meaningful or have meaning, but the common phrase „that makes sense“ is meaningless. This is yet another example of something being used by everyone and then no longer critically questioned by anyone.
 
Now we come to the all-important question with which you can reliably put the opinions, prejudices, values, beliefs and supposed facts of those around you, and of course yourself, to the test. The question is: How do I know that? In order to be able to give an answer, force yourself to get to the core of your original experience and thereby examine its meaningfulness. The more often you ask yourself this question, the more you will realize how many opinions and beliefs we have simply adopted from other people, the media or our environment. On the one hand, this requires courage, of course, but on the other hand it is the only option if you want to lead a self-determined life based on your own standards.
 

Critical thinking tool #2: Create a not-to-do list

Yes, you read that right. Create a list of things that you want to consciously avoid from now on. not will do more. Because isn't that the case? A classic to-do list can take on gigantic proportions, and we often simply feel overwhelmed by the mass of obligations. Fortunately, there is an extremely effective antidote to this: prioritize and consistently 
 
Say no. No to time wasters. No to procrastination. No to all the tasks that we like to deal with day in, day out, but which ultimately don't bring us an inch closer to our goals. The more you cultivate saying no, the more you say yes at the same time. Yes to more personal freedom. Yes to more focus. Yes to more Self-determination. So grab your journal or a piece of paper and write down all the things you will no longer do from now on. After just a few days, you will notice how your time management becomes more effective and productive. And as a nice side effect, creating your not-to-do list will also increase your inner clarity at the same time.
 

Critical thinking tool #3: Create an IDGAF list

And then comes the next list, which really packs a punch. Similar to the Not-to-to list, its big sister, the IDGAF list, also focuses on letting go, saying no and setting boundaries. However, its effect is even more powerful. And of course the name is also a touch cooler, because IDGAF stands for „I don't give a fuck!“. And precisely this Attitude is essential if you want to lead a self-determined life. Because the more you do your own thing, the more you will experience the following reactions from those around you: Lack of understanding, criticism, rejection, know-it-all attitude, nagging, active opposition and very often subtle emotional blackmail. You will hear phrases such as „You can't just...“, „But you should...“ or „You urgently need to...“. Does this sound familiar to you?
 
On the one hand, you can be a little proud when you receive such reactions to your personality, because people can only rub up against rough edges. On the other hand, it can also become a real burden if the headwind becomes too strong. This makes it all the more important to let go of what other people think about you, expect from you or demand how you should function. You can't prevent all of this, but you can make the decision that you are no longer interested in it from now on. 
 
So from now on, follow the mantra of bestselling author Tommy Jaud, who summed it up so wonderfully: „I don't have to do shit!“ And then create your own personal IDGAF list. Write down everything that annoys you: whether other people like your life, your opinion, your decisions or your ideas. How your clothes are received, what people say about your driving style or taste in music. All the many things that make you say inwardly: „I don't give a fuck! As long as it makes me happy, I don't care what other people think of it.“ The more you detach yourself from the expectations of others in this way, the more you can align yourself with your own aspirations and standards.
 

The art of critical thinking

With these three tools, you can take your critical thinking skills to a new level. It is best to hang the two lists up in a clearly visible place at your workplace so that you can refer to them every day. And then enjoy your life as a critical thinker. You may often seem exotic to others in an age of conformity, uniformity and mediocrity, but it is the only way to lead a fulfilled and happy life. Well, and of course you should immediately subject this claim to critical scrutiny.
 
And, of course, I'm very interested in how you see the topic of „critical thinking“. Write me your opinion as a comment...